Haruki Murakami’s Advice Column (“Mr. Murakami’s Place”) Is Now Online: Read English Translations

Ear­li­er this month, the read­ing world thrilled to the news that Haru­ki Muraka­mi would, in a new col­umn on his offi­cial site, take on the role of agony uncle. I, for one, had to look up the term “agony uncle,” a term out of British Eng­lish, a lan­guage that sur­pris­es me even more often than does Murakami’s native Japan­ese. It means an advice colum­nist, or more specif­i­cal­ly an avun­cu­lar type of writer to whom read­ers can pour out their ago­nies.

Despite his rare pub­lic appear­ances and few first-per­son pieces avail­able in trans­la­tion, read­ers around the globe have sure­ly sensed the writer’s calm man­ner and sym­pa­thet­ic ear. And when he gives advice straight-up, as when he talks about what makes a good run­ner or writer (almost the same thing, to his mind) he does it with suc­cinct­ness and wis­dom. And so we have 村上さんのところ, or “Mr. Murakami’s Place,” where Muraka­mi will, over the next few months, briefly address all man­ner of read­er queries sub­mit­ted in Jan­u­ary.

(Which means that, if you have any­thing to ask him you’ve still got a few days left to do so. Though you’ll notice that the site appears almost entire­ly in Japan­ese, the Eng­lish-speak­ing Muraka­mi also answers ques­tions sub­mit­ted in that lan­guage; just con­sult James Smyth’s trans­la­tion of the ques­tion sub­mis­sion form if you want to go that route.)

“Do you think cats can under­stand how humans feel?” asks a fan named Vivian. “My cat Bobo ran away when she saw me cry­ing.” And despite, or because of, hav­ing spent a good deal of time ren­der­ing cats as lit­er­ary pres­ences, Muraka­mi feels a bit dubi­ous about the issue: “I sus­pect that either you or your cat is extreme­ly sen­si­tive. I have had many cats, but no cat has ever been so sym­pa­thet­ic. They were just as ego­is­tic as they could be.” “Do you have some places you always stay for a while?” asks a 20-year-old stu­dent. “An easy ques­tion. In the bed with some­one I love. Where else?”

Not only do the Japan­ese-lan­guage ques­tions and answers get slight­ly more expan­sive, they some­times even take the tra­di­tion­al advice-col­umn form. Take, for exam­ple, “On the Cusp of 30”:

30 is right around the cor­ner for me, but there isn’t a sin­gle thing that I feel like I’ve accom­plished.  When I was young, I thought to be an ‘adult’ must be so won­der­ful, but my cur­rent real­i­ty is so far away from what I imag­ined.  And when faced with that real­i­ty, I get very dis­heart­ened.  What should I do with myself?

(Jo & Maca, Female, 28)

I don’t mean to be rude, but I think “to be an ‘adult’ must be so won­der­ful,” is just wrong.  ‘Adult’ is noth­ing more than an emp­ty form.  What you fill that form with is your own respon­si­bil­i­ty.  Accom­plish­ments don’t come eas­i­ly.  When you start to fill your ‘adult’ form lit­tle by lit­tle, then every­thing will begin.  But 28 is not real­ly ‘adult.’  You’re only just begin­ning.

That trans­la­tion comes from an anony­mous trans­la­tor and Muraka­mi fan writ­ing their own Eng­lish com­pan­ion blog to the col­umn. It presents anoth­er urgent query from a des­per­ate read­er as fol­lows:

My wife quite fre­quent­ly belch­es right near the back of my head when she pass­es behind me.  When I say to her, “Stop burp­ing behind me all the time,” she says, “It’s not on pur­pose.  It just comes out.”  I don’t think I’m bring­ing it upon myself in any way.  Is there some­thing I can do to stop my wife’s belch­ing?

(ukuleleKazu, Male, 61, Self-Employed)

I hope you’ll par­don me for say­ing so, but I think belch­ing is far bet­ter than fart­ing. Per­haps you should think of it that way.

Muraka­mi has so far weighed in on such oth­er mat­ters of import as dis­ap­pear­ing cats [trans­la­tion], how to deal with ris­ing marathon times [trans­la­tion], his plans for fur­ther non-fic­tion writ­ing [trans­la­tion], what to do at age nine­teen [trans­la­tion], wan­ing libido [trans­la­tion], and his love of Ice­land [trans­la­tion]. Even if you don’t care about the nov­el­ist’s thoughts on these mat­ters, do take a look at the site and its abun­dance of bipedal cats and sheep, jazz albums, John­nie Walk­er fig­ures, and Yakult Swal­lows mem­o­ra­bil­ia — in any lan­guage, a Muraka­mi fan’s delight.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Haru­ki Muraka­mi Lists the Three Essen­tial Qual­i­ties For All Seri­ous Nov­el­ists (And Run­ners)

A Pho­to­graph­ic Tour of Haru­ki Murakami’s Tokyo, Where Dream, Mem­o­ry, and Real­i­ty Meet

Haru­ki Murakami’s Pas­sion for Jazz: Dis­cov­er the Novelist’s Jazz Playlist, Jazz Essay & Jazz Bar

Haru­ki Muraka­mi Trans­lates The Great Gats­by, the Nov­el That Influ­enced Him Most

Col­in Mar­shall hosts and pro­duces Note­book on Cities and Cul­ture as well as the video series The City in Cin­e­ma and writes essays on cities, lan­guage, Asia, and men’s style. He’s at work on a book about Los Ange­les, A Los Ange­les Primer. Fol­low him on Twit­ter at @colinmarshall or on Face­book.