
Image via WikiÂmeÂdia ComÂmons
The site Fast ComÂpaÂny pubÂlished an artiÂcle that describes the “ComÂplaint Restraint project,” an iniÂtiaÂtive that aims to creÂate a “posÂiÂtive life by elimÂiÂnatÂing negÂaÂtive stateÂments.” It’s an admirable goal. Though most of us have a perÂverse love of walÂlowÂing in our misery—a human trait ampliÂfied a thouÂsandÂfold by the internet—complaining rarely makes things any betÂter. As in the Buddha’s paraÂble of the “secÂond arrow,” our gripÂing can make our sufÂferÂings douÂbly painful; as in the paraÂble of the “poiÂsoned arrow,” it can postÂpone or subÂstiÂtute for the conÂstrucÂtive actions we need to take in order to heal or improve our conÂdiÂtion.
But it would be a misÂtake to think that comÂplainÂing is someÂhow a recent pheÂnomÂeÂnon, though we may hear more of it every day, all the time, from every quarÂter of the globe. The BudÂdhist arrow stoÂries are, after all, at least a couÂple thouÂsand years old; lamenÂtaÂtion more or less conÂstiÂtutes its own genre in BibÂliÂcal litÂerÂaÂture.
Even oldÂer still than these reliÂgious sources is the first docÂuÂmentÂed cusÂtomer serÂvice comÂplaint, a speÂcifÂic variÂety of comÂplainÂing that we might be forÂgivÂen for assoÂciÂatÂing mainÂly with a modÂern, conÂsumerist age—and one of the few kinds of comÂplaints that can genÂerÂate posÂiÂtive results.
Absent a Yelp app, the ancient BabyÂlonÂian conÂsumer in this case inscribed his comÂplaint on a clay tablet—which now resides at the British MuseÂum—someÂtime around 1750 B.C. The irate purÂchasÂer here, NanÂni, writÂing to someÂone named Ea-nasir, received a shipÂment of copÂper ore of an infeÂriÂor grade, after some annoyÂing delay and in a damÂaged conÂdiÂtion. In the transÂlaÂtion below from AssyriÂolÂoÂgist A. Leo OppenÂheim, NanÂni vents his spleen.
Tell Ea-nasir: NanÂni sends the folÂlowÂing mesÂsage:
When you came, you said to me as folÂlows : “I will give GimÂil-Sin (when he comes) fine qualÂiÂty copÂper ingots.” You left then but you did not do what you promised me. You put ingots which were not good before my mesÂsenÂger (Sit-Sin) and said: “If you want to take them, take them; if you do not want to take them, go away!”
What do you take me for, that you treat someÂbody like me with such conÂtempt? I have sent as mesÂsenÂgers genÂtleÂmen like ourÂselves to colÂlect the bag with my monÂey (depositÂed with you) but you have treatÂed me with conÂtempt by sendÂing them back to me empÂty-handÂed sevÂerÂal times, and that through eneÂmy terÂriÂtoÂry. Is there anyÂone among the merÂchants who trade with TelÂmun who has treatÂed me in this way? You alone treat my mesÂsenÂger with conÂtempt! On account of that one (triÂfling) mina of silÂver which I owe(?) you, you feel free to speak in such a way, while I have givÂen to the palace on your behalf 1,080 pounds of copÂper, and umi-abum has likeÂwise givÂen 1,080 pounds of copÂper, apart from what we both have had writÂten on a sealed tablet to be kept in the temÂple of Samas.
How have you treatÂed me for that copÂper? You have withÂheld my monÂey bag from me in eneÂmy terÂriÂtoÂry; it is now up to you to restore (my monÂey) to me in full.
Take cogÂnizance that (from now on) I will not accept here any copÂper from you that is not of fine qualÂiÂty. I shall (from now on) select and take the ingots indiÂvidÂuÂalÂly in my own yard, and I shall exerÂcise against you my right of rejecÂtion because you have treatÂed me with conÂtempt.
It does seem that NanÂni maybe took this poor serÂvice a litÂtle too perÂsonÂalÂly. In any case, let’s hope he received some satÂisÂfacÂtion for the trouÂble it must have takÂen to inscribe this angry mesÂsage.
Note: An earÂliÂer verÂsion of this post appeared on our site in 2015.
RelatÂed ConÂtent:
Mark Twain Drafts the UltiÂmate LetÂter of ComÂplaint (1905)
Hunter S. ThompÂson Calls Tech SupÂport, UnleashÂes a Tirade Full of Fear and Loathing (NSFW)
Behold the OldÂest WritÂten Text in the World: The Kish Tablet, CirÂca 3500 BC
Hear the OldÂest Song in the World: A SumerÂian Hymn WritÂten 3,400 Years Ago
How to Write in Cuneiform, the OldÂest WritÂing SysÂtem in the World: A Short IntroÂducÂtion
Hear the EarÂliÂest RecordÂed CusÂtomer ComÂplaint LetÂter: From Ancient SumeÂria 1750 BC
Josh Jones is a writer and musiÂcian based in Durham, NC.


