“I Will Survive,” the Coronavirus Version for Teachers Going Online

If you’re an aca­d­e­m­ic sprint­ing to put your course online, this video will make you feel bet­ter for a sol­id two min­utes and 44 sec­onds.

Above we present, “I Will Sur­vive,” the Coro­n­avirus ver­sion for teach­ers going online, with lyrics adapt­ed by Michael Bru­en­ing, his­to­ri­an at Mis­souri State.

At first I was afraid, I was pet­ri­fied

Kept think­ing I could nev­er teach through Can­vas all the time

But then I spent so many nights read­ing the help docs for so long

And I grew strong

And I learned how to get along

And so I’m back

Stu­dents are gone

As all my col­leagues try to fig­ure out how they’re gonna get along

I should have kept up with the tech, not skipped that class on course design

If I’d known for just one sec­ond I’d be teach­ing all-online

Go on now, go, leave me alone

I’ve got to fig­ure out

Just how to lec­ture using Panop­to

You gave me two days to adjust, to move every­thing online

Did you think I’d crum­ble

Did you think I’d lay down and die?

Oh no, not I, I will sur­vive

Oh, as long as I know how to Zoom, I know I’ll be alive

Oh, my stu­dents still will learn

And my pay­checks I will earn, and I’ll sur­vive

I will sur­vive, hey, hey

It took all the strength I had not to lay down and die

Kept try­ing hard to mend the pieces of my syl­labi

And I spent oh so many nights just feel­ing sor­ry for myself

I used to cry

But now I hold my head up high and you’ll see me

Teach­ing on zoom

But just don’t cough into the mic or every eye will be on you

I can’t hear you, you’re on mute, your camera’s black, are you still there?

We’ve got some glitch­es to work out, but I know my grad­ing scheme is fair

Oh now, go, walk out the door

Try­ing to get this lec­ture done

And I’m already on take four

Now the net­work has gone down, and I’m all out of wine

Do you think I’ll crum­ble

Do you think I’ll lay down and die?

Oh no, not I, I will sur­vive

Oh, as long as I know how to zoom, I know I’ll be alive

My stu­dents still will learn

And my pay­checks I will earn and I’ll sur­vive

I will sur­vive

Hey hey

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