“I Will Survive,” the Coronavirus Version for Teachers Going Online

If you’re an academic sprinting to put your course online, this video will make you feel better for a solid two minutes and 44 seconds.

Above we present, “I Will Survive,” the Coronavirus version for teachers going online, with lyrics adapted by Michael Bruening, historian at Missouri State.

At first I was afraid, I was petrified

Kept thinking I could never teach through Canvas all the time

But then I spent so many nights reading the help docs for so long

And I grew strong

And I learned how to get along

And so I’m back

Students are gone

As all my colleagues try to figure out how they’re gonna get along

I should have kept up with the tech, not skipped that class on course design

If I’d known for just one second I’d be teaching all-online

Go on now, go, leave me alone

I’ve got to figure out

Just how to lecture using Panopto

You gave me two days to adjust, to move everything online

Did you think I’d crumble

Did you think I’d lay down and die?

Oh no, not I, I will survive

Oh, as long as I know how to Zoom, I know I’ll be alive

Oh, my students still will learn

And my paychecks I will earn, and I’ll survive

I will survive, hey, hey

It took all the strength I had not to lay down and die

Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my syllabi

And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself

I used to cry

But now I hold my head up high and you’ll see me

Teaching on zoom

But just don’t cough into the mic or every eye will be on you

I can’t hear you, you’re on mute, your camera’s black, are you still there?

We’ve got some glitches to work out, but I know my grading scheme is fair

Oh now, go, walk out the door

Trying to get this lecture done

And I’m already on take four

Now the network has gone down, and I’m all out of wine

Do you think I’ll crumble

Do you think I’ll lay down and die?

Oh no, not I, I will survive

Oh, as long as I know how to zoom, I know I’ll be alive

My students still will learn

And my paychecks I will earn and I’ll survive

I will survive

Hey hey