George CarÂlin was more than a Class Clown. He was also a class act, as eviÂdenced by this undatÂed misÂsive to comÂeÂdy writer SalÂly Wade, with whom he shared the final decade of his life. The man who once parsed the SevÂen Words You Can NevÂer Say on TeleÂviÂsion showÂered his “spouse withÂout papers” with such notes daiÂly.
GivÂen such a prodiÂgious outÂput, he wiseÂly turned to sciÂence to quanÂtiÂfy his ardor in the reproÂducÂtion above. (His physiÂcian’s scrawl can be difÂfiÂcult to deciÂpher — a tranÂscripÂtion is supÂplied below.)
SALLYBURGER,
If you took THE NUMBER OF SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES IN THE UNIVERSE and mulÂtiÂplied that numÂber times itself THAT MANY TIMES; and then added the total numÂber of MICRO-SECONDS since the beginÂning of time, times itself; and then added 803—you would STILL have only the tiniÂest fracÂtion of A BILLION-BILLIONTH PER CENT of the amount of love I HAVE FOR YOU.
Love,
your canÂdle partÂner,
the romanÂtic Mr CarÂlin,
your eterÂnal flame
A porÂtion of these sweet nothÂings were colÂlectÂed in The George CarÂlin LetÂters. Its subÂtiÂtle, The PerÂmaÂnent Courtship of SalÂly Wade, was takÂen from the note he left on her comÂputÂer the day he died, two days shy of their 10th anniverÂsary.
RelatÂed ConÂtent:
RIP: George CarÂlin on the Tonight Show (1966)
How the Great George CarÂlin Showed Louis CK the Way to SucÂcess (NSFW)
George CarÂlin: The ModÂern Man in Three MinÂutes
Ayun HalÂlÂiÂday has been lovÂing on Greg Kotis since 1991. Such notes as there are remain priÂvate, but you can folÂlow her @AyunHalliday

