George Carlin was more than a Class Clown. He was also a class act, as evidenced by this undated missive to comedy writer Sally Wade, with whom he shared the final decade of his life. The man who once parsed the Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television showered his “spouse without papers” with such notes daily.
Given such a prodigious output, he wisely turned to science to quantify his ardor in the reproduction above. (His physician’s scrawl can be difficult to decipher — a transcription is supplied below.)
SALLYBURGER,
If you took THE NUMBER OF SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES IN THE UNIVERSE and multiplied that number times itself THAT MANY TIMES; and then added the total number of MICRO-SECONDS since the beginning of time, times itself; and then added 803—you would STILL have only the tiniest fraction of A BILLION-BILLIONTH PER CENT of the amount of love I HAVE FOR YOU.
Love,
your candle partner,
the romantic Mr Carlin,
your eternal flame
A portion of these sweet nothings were collected in The George Carlin Letters. Its subtitle, The Permanent Courtship of Sally Wade, was taken from the note he left on her computer the day he died, two days shy of their 10th anniversary.
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RIP: George Carlin on the Tonight Show (1966)
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George Carlin: The Modern Man in Three Minutes
Ayun Halliday has been loving on Greg Kotis since 1991. Such notes as there are remain private, but you can follow her @AyunHalliday

