So, you pull up to the Metallica show and double check to make sure you have everything you need. Cash? Check. Change of clothes for when you stumble back to the car exhausted and sweaty? Check. Earplugs? …. Where are the damn earplugs?
Oh man. You forgot the ear plugs.
Anyone got an extra pair of ear plugs? You’re boned. What to do? You’re gonna need your ears for the next few days for your summer camp gig. Those kids are loud enough without tinnitus.
You consider, for a split second, ditching your ticket and calling a cab. But c’mon. Screw your hearing, this is 1991, you’re in Muskegon, Michigan, and The Black Album just came out. You’re gonna miss the show? No way, man.
Ah, but it’s not 1991, you’re (probably) not in Muskegon, Michigan, and you’re staying home because there’s a deadly virus going around the world. The good news is you can still catch the show.
Watch it at the top, from the comfort of your cozy nest. More good news? You don’t need those earplugs anymore. Turn it way down low and let “Enter Sandman” lull you to sleep.
When you wake up, travel back to last June, to the lovely Slane Castle, to see Metallica play Meath, Ireland, just above. Dime the volume knob until your neighbors complain. Put on your headphones and blast it till your ears bleed and you pass out. There’s more where that came from.
“Metallica may be staying home due to the coronavirus but that doesn’t mean they aren’t here to rock your face off,” Billboard reported last month. “The band, who announced on Monday (March 23) that they have been forced to postpone a scheduled South American spring tour…. Just launched a new weekly concert series called Metallica Mondays.”
This announcement being several weeks ago, there are now several concerts posted on the band’s YouTube channel—six at this moment, including a 2009 gig in Copenhagen, Denmark, one of many places where Metallica’s loud, fast (till The Black Album), death-obsessed thrash metal traveled and transformed into even louder, faster, more death-obsessed metal subgenres.
Maybe you were at one of these shows? If so, relive the glory. If you’ve never seen the band live, know that this is but a pale imitation, as are all filmed concerts, whether you stream them on your smartphone or your 85” TV. But if you want to know what it was like for that kid in Muskegon who forgot his ear plugs, try that headphone trick. Then head over to Metallica’s YouTube channel on Monday for the next show.