Discover the Oldest Beer Recipe in History From Ancient Sumeria, 1800 B.C.

Ninkasi Tablets

Image cour­tesy of Lock, Stock, and His­to­ry

Beer, that favorite bev­er­age of foot­ball fans, frat boys, and oth­er macho stereotypes—at least accord­ing to the advertisers—actually has a very long, dis­tin­guished her­itage. It’s old­er, in fact, than wine, old­er than whiskey, old­er per­haps even than bread (or so some schol­ars have thought). As soon as humans set­tled down and learned to cul­ti­vate grains, some 13,000 years ago, the pos­si­bil­i­ty for fermentation—a nat­u­ral­ly occur­ring phenomenon—presented itself. But it isn’t until the 5th cen­tu­ry, B.C. that we have sources doc­u­ment­ing the delib­er­ate pro­duc­tion of ale in ancient Sume­ria. Nonethe­less, beer has been described as the “mid­wife of civ­i­liza­tion” due to its cen­tral role in agri­cul­ture, trade, urban­iza­tion, and med­i­cine.

Beer became so impor­tant to ancient Mesopotami­an cul­ture that the Sume­ri­ans cre­at­ed a god­dess of brew­ing and beer, Ninkasi, and one anony­mous poet, smit­ten with her pow­ers, penned a hymn to her in 1800 B.C.. A daugh­ter of the pow­er­ful cre­ator Enki and Nin­ti, “queen of the sacred lake,” Ninkasi is all the more poignant a deity giv­en the role of women in ancient cul­ture as respect­ed brew­ers. The “Hymn to Ninkasi,” which you can read below, not only pro­vides insight into the impor­tance of this cus­tom in Sumer­ian mythol­o­gy, but it also gives us a recipe for brew­ing ancient Sumer­ian beer—the old­est beer recipe we have.

Trans­lat­ed from two clay tablets by Miguel Civ­il, Pro­fes­sor of Sumerol­o­gy at the Uni­ver­si­ty of Chica­go, the poem con­tains instruc­tions pre­cise enough that Fritz May­tag, founder of the Anchor Brew­ing Com­pa­ny in San Fran­cis­co, took it upon him­self to try them. He pre­sent­ed the results at the annu­al meet­ing of the Amer­i­can Asso­ci­a­tion of Micro Brew­ers in 1991. The brew­ers, writes Civ­il, “were able to taste ‘Ninkasi Beer,’ sip­ping it from large jugs with drink­ing straws as they did four mil­len­nia ago. The beer had an alco­hol con­cen­tra­tion of 3.5%, very sim­i­lar to mod­ern beers, and had a ‘dry taste lack­ing in bit­ter­ness,’ ‘sim­i­lar to hard apple cider.’” A chal­lenge to all you home brew­ers out there.

Unfor­tu­nate­ly, May­tag was unable to bot­tle and retail the recre­ation, since ancient Mesopotami­an beer “was brewed for imme­di­ate con­sump­tion” and “did not keep very well.” But what Civ­il learned from the exper­i­ment was that his translation—in the hands of a mas­ter brew­er “who saw through the dif­fi­cult ter­mi­nol­o­gy and poet­ic metaphors”—produced results. Below, see the first part of the “Hymn to Ninkasi,” which describes “in poet­ic terms the step-by-step process of Sumer­ian beer brew­ing.” A sec­ond part of the hymn “cel­e­brates the con­tain­ers in which the beer is brewed and served” and “includes the toasts usu­al in tav­ern and drink­ing songs.” You can read that joy­ful text—which includes the line “With joy in the heat [and] a hap­py liver”—on page 4 of Pro­fes­sor Civil’s arti­cle on the Hymn.

 

Hymn to Ninkasi (Part I)
Borne of the flow­ing water,
Ten­der­ly cared for by the Nin­hur­sag,
Borne of the flow­ing water,
Ten­der­ly cared for by the Nin­hur­sag,

Hav­ing found­ed your town by the sacred lake,
She fin­ished its great walls for you,
Ninkasi, hav­ing found­ed your town by the sacred lake,
She fin­ished it’s walls for you,

Your father is Enki, Lord Nidim­mud,
Your moth­er is Nin­ti, the queen of the sacred lake.
Ninkasi, your father is Enki, Lord Nidim­mud,
Your moth­er is Nin­ti, the queen of the sacred lake.

You are the one who han­dles the dough [and] with a big shov­el,
Mix­ing in a pit, the bap­pir with sweet aro­mat­ics,
Ninkasi, you are the one who han­dles the dough [and] with a big shov­el,
Mix­ing in a pit, the bap­pir with [date] — hon­ey,

You are the one who bakes the bap­pir in the big oven,
Puts in order the piles of hulled grains,
Ninkasi, you are the one who bakes the bap­pir in the big oven,
Puts in order the piles of hulled grains,

You are the one who waters the malt set on the ground,
The noble dogs keep away even the poten­tates,
Ninkasi, you are the one who waters the malt set on the ground,
The noble dogs keep away even the poten­tates,

You are the one who soaks the malt in a jar,
The waves rise, the waves fall.
Ninkasi, you are the one who soaks the malt in a jar,
The waves rise, the waves fall.

You are the one who spreads the cooked mash on large reed mats,
Cool­ness over­comes,
Ninkasi, you are the one who spreads the cooked mash on large reed mats,
Cool­ness over­comes,

You are the one who holds with both hands the great sweet wort,
Brew­ing [it] with hon­ey [and] wine
(You the sweet wort to the ves­sel)
Ninkasi, (…)(You the sweet wort to the ves­sel)

The fil­ter­ing vat, which makes a pleas­ant sound,
You place appro­pri­ate­ly on a large col­lec­tor vat.
Ninkasi, the fil­ter­ing vat, which makes a pleas­ant sound,
You place appro­pri­ate­ly on a large col­lec­tor vat.

When you pour out the fil­tered beer of the col­lec­tor vat,
It is [like] the onrush of Tigris and Euphrates.
Ninkasi, you are the one who pours out the fil­tered beer of the col­lec­tor vat,
It is [like] the onrush of Tigris and Euphrates.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Cook Real Recipes from Ancient Rome: Ostrich Ragoût, Roast Wild Boar, Nut Tarts & More

The Art and Sci­ence of Beer

Lis­ten to the Old­est Song in the World: A Sumer­ian Hymn Writ­ten 3,400 Years Ago

Free Cours­es in Ancient His­to­ry, Lit­er­a­ture & Phi­los­o­phy

Josh Jones is a writer and musi­cian based in Durham, NC. Fol­low him at @jdmagness

The Marvelous Health Benefits of Chocolate: A Curious Medical Essay from 1631

chocolate histoy

When cof­fee first came to the west­ern world dur­ing the 17th cen­tu­ry, it did­n’t taste par­tic­u­lar­ly good. So the peo­ple import­ing and ped­dling the new com­mod­i­ty talked up the health ben­e­fits of the new drink. The first known Eng­lish adver­tise­ment for cof­fee, dat­ing back to 1652, made these claims: Cof­fee is “very good to help diges­tion.” It also “quick­ens the Spir­its, and makes the Heart Light­some.” And it “is good against sore Eys, and the bet­ter if you hold your Head o’er it, and take in the Steem that way.”

It turns out that choco­late had a sim­i­lar intro­duc­tion to the West. Writ­ing at the always inter­est­ing Pub­lic Domain Review, Chris­tine A. Jones recounts how when choco­late “first arrived from the Amer­i­c­as into Europe in the 17th cen­tu­ry it was a rare and mys­te­ri­ous sub­stance, thought more of as a drug than as a food.” The Span­ish, who con­quered the Aztecs in 1521, first doc­u­ment­ed the choco­late they encoun­tered there in 1552. And then, in 1631, they placed choco­late in the annals of med­ical his­to­ry when Anto­nio Colmen­ero de Ledes­ma, a Span­ish physi­cian and sur­geon, wrote a med­ical essay called Curioso Trata­do de la nat­u­raleza y cal­i­dad del choco­late. The essay made the case that choco­late, if tak­en cor­rect­ly, could help bal­ance the body’s humors (Blood, Yel­low Bile, Black Bile & Phlegm) and ward off dis­ease. (You can bone up on the ancient sci­ence of Humorism here.) When trans­lat­ed into Eng­lish in 1651, the trea­tise now called Choco­late; or, an Indi­an Drinke came pref­aced by an intro­duc­tion that tout­ed choco­late’s health ben­e­fits:

It is an excel­lent help to Diges­tion, it cures Con­sump­tions, and the Cough of the Lungs, the New Dis­ease, or Plague of the Guts, and oth­er Flux­es, the Green Sick­nesse, Jaun­dise, and all man­ner of Infla­ma­tions, Opi­la­tions, and Obstruc­tions. It quite takes away the Mor­phew, Cleanseth the Teeth, and sweet­neth the Breath, Pro­vokes Urine, Cures the Stone, and stran­gury, Expells Poi­son, and pre­serves from all infec­tious Dis­eases.

And it fea­tured one of the first recipes for hot choco­late:

To every 100. Cacaos, you must put two cods of the*Chiles long red Pep­per, of which I have spo­ken before, and are called in the Indi­an Tongue, Chilpar­lagua; and in stead of those of the Indies, you may take those of Spaine which are broad­est, & least hot. One hand­full of Annis-seed Ore­jue­las, which are oth­er­wise called Pinacaxli­dos: and two of the flow­ers, called Mecha­suchil, if the Bel­ly be bound. But in stead of this, in Spaine, we put in six Ros­es of Alexan­dria beat to Pow­der: One Cod of Campeche, or Log­wood: Two Drams of Cina­mon; Almons, and Hasle-Nuts, of each one Dozen: Of white Sug­ar, halfe a pound: of Achio­tee­nough to give it the colour.

You can read more about the curi­ous med­ical his­to­ry of choco­late at The Pub­lic Domain Review. And while you’re there, you should check out their new book of essays, which we fea­tured on Open Cul­ture in Decem­ber.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Sci­ence & Cook­ing: Harvard’s Free Course on Mak­ing Cakes, Pael­la & Oth­er Deli­cious Food

MIT Teach­es You How to Speak Ital­ian & Cook Ital­ian Cui­sine All at Once (Free Online Course)

A Cab­i­net of Curiosi­ties: Dis­cov­er The Pub­lic Domain Review’s New Book of Essays

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The Origins of Pleasure: Paul Bloom Explains Why We Like Expensive Wines & Original Paintings

Let’s say you spend a con­sid­er­able amount of mon­ey for a paint­ing by a not­ed artist. Or maybe you get it for a steal. Either way, the paint­ing hangs promi­nent­ly in your home, where it is admired by guests and brings you plea­sure every time you look at it, which is often. Years lat­er, you acci­den­tal­ly dis­cov­er that your paint­ing is not the work of the artist whose sig­na­ture graces the low­er right hand cor­ner of the can­vas, but rather a hereto­fore anony­mous forg­er.  How do you react?

Do you laugh and say, “When I think of all the hap­pi­ness that liv­ing with this beau­ti­ful image has brought me over the years, I feel I have got­ten my money’s worth many times over. I don’t care who paint­ed it!”

Or do you look as though you’ve just real­ized that evil exists in the world, which is how Hitler’s right hand man, Her­mann Göring, reput­ed­ly looked when, as a pris­on­er at Nurem­berg, he was informed that his beloved Ver­meer, ”Christ with the Woman Tak­en in Adul­tery” (below), was actu­al­ly the work of the Dutch deal­er who had sold it to him.

vermeer

Göring’s reac­tion may have been the most human thing about him. Accord­ing to Yale psy­chol­o­gist Paul Bloom, the plea­sure we take in the things we love is deeply informed by their per­ceived ori­gins. For­get mon­e­tary val­ue. For­get brag­ging rights. We need to believe that our paint­ing was not just paint­ed by Ver­meer, but han­dled by him, breathed upon him. If only that Ver­meer of mine could talk…I bet it could set­tle once and for all the exact nature of his rela­tion­ship with that lit­tle serv­ing girl. Remem­ber? The one with the pearl ear­ring?

Oh, wait. She was fic­tion­al. I for­got.

But that’s the sort of prove­nance we crave. The kind that comes with a sto­ry we can sink our teeth into.

The sto­ry must also fit the cir­cum­stances, as Bloom makes plain in his won­der­ful­ly enter­tain­ing TED talk on the Ori­gins of Plea­sure.

Unknow­ing­ly hop­ping in the sack with a blood rel­a­tive or eat­ing rat meat are intrigu­ing nar­ra­tives, pro­vid­ed they hap­pen to some­one else. Knowl­edge of such sto­ries could deep­en your con­nec­tion to a par­tic­u­lar piece of art.

(Can’t you feel the sex­u­al anguish ooz­ing out of my Ver­meer? Did you know he had to choose between buy­ing brush­es and buy­ing food?)

Not the sort of ori­gin sto­ry you’d want to find at the bot­tom of your own per­son­al soup bowl, how­ev­er.

Ergo, let us say that when it comes to plea­sure ema­nat­ing from food, we savor tastes we per­ceive as com­ing from whole­some organ­ic farms, arti­sanal oper­a­tions, restau­rants that are known to have passed the Board of Health’s san­i­tary inspec­tion with fly­ing col­ors. 

And when it comes to drink, we will will­ing­ly believe in the supe­ri­or fla­vor of any­thing poured under the aus­pices of an acclaimed label. Sci­en­tif­ic evi­dence con­firms this.

(On a relat­ed note, I once hung on to a bot­tle after drink­ing the lux­u­ry vod­ka it once con­tained, think­ing I’d refill it with a cheap liquor hack I had read about. The exper­i­ment end­ed when my hus­band com­plained that the water in our Bri­ta pitch­er tast­ed fun­ny.)

Speak­ing of roman­tic part­ners, it turns out that beau­ty tru­ly is not so much in the eye, but the brain of the behold­er. And it’s prob­a­bly not a bad idea to make sure you’ve got the facts regard­ing a poten­tial lover’s age, gen­der, and blood­lines. Caveat emp­tor, as any­one who’s ever seen the Cry­ing Game  will attest.

Note: Paul Bloom has taught a free course through Yale called “Intro­duc­tion to Psy­chol­o­gy,”. It’s avail­able in our col­lec­tion of Free Online Psy­chol­o­gy Cours­es, part of our larg­er col­lec­tion, 1,700 Free Online Cours­es from Top Uni­ver­si­ties.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Why We Love Rep­e­ti­tion in Music: Explained in a New TED-Ed Ani­ma­tion

A Dar­win­ian The­o­ry of Beau­ty, or TED Does Its Best RSA

1756 TED Talks List­ed in a Neat Spread­sheet

Ayun Hal­l­i­day is an author, home­school­er, and Chief Pri­ma­tol­o­gist of the East Vil­lage Inky zine. Fol­low her @AyunHalliday

Visit “Mariobatalivoice,” the Cooking Blog by Steve Albini, Musician & Record Producer

640px-Albini_atp

Image by Wiki­me­dia Com­mons by Freeko­rps

You know Steve Albi­ni as the pio­neer­ing founder and front­man of such dis­turb­ing post-hard­core punk bands as Big Black, Rape­man, and Shel­lac. You also know him as the in-demand pro­duc­er of albums by such excel­lent artists as the Pix­ies, Nir­vana, Cheap Trick, Mog­wai, The Dirty Three, The Breed­ers, P.J. Har­vey… the list goes ever on… Albini’s role as a producer—of bands both high pro­file and total­ly obscure—is leg­endary in rock cir­cles, as is his cur­mud­geon­li­ness, exact­ing per­son­al stan­dards, high­ly opin­ion­at­ed com­men­tary, and excep­tion­al musi­cal taste.

You may not know, how­ev­er, about Albini’s excep­tion­al culi­nary tastes, as doc­u­ment­ed on his food blog, “Mar­i­o­batal­ivoice: What I made Heather for din­ner.” Main­tained between 2011 and 2013, the run­ning com­men­tary chron­i­cles Albini’s attempts at dish­es such as “Li-hing-rubbed tor­pe­do with weird huau­zon­tle and diced pep­pers” and “aged short ribs with fen­nel on saf­fron pota­to puree.” From the looks of things, Albi­ni is a fine cook, as well as decent food photographer—if those are his pho­tos. His blog descrip­tion sug­gests they may be the work of Heather (that is, his wife, Heather Whin­na).

potato cashew pancakes

A pho­to of Saf­fron Pota­to Cashew Pan­cakes from mar­i­o­batal­ivoice.

Albini’s also a very enter­tain­ing writer. No sur­prise there, “as any­one who’s seen his back-in-the-day fanzine rants can attest,” wrote Tom Brei­han at Pitch­fork in 2011. Typ­i­cal­ly under­stat­ed and idio­syn­crat­ic, Albi­ni writes, “I don’t give quan­ti­ties or exact recipes because I eye­ball and taste every­thing like any­body who cooks a lot…. We’re not nin­jas. Also, some of this food may not turn out that great, so repli­cat­ing it would be point­less. I have also suc­cess­ful­ly cooked for our cats.” Nonethe­less, even with­out pro­por­tions and exact steps spelled out, “if you cook, you should be able to fig­ure out how to make any of these meals.”

The name, he tells us, “comes from the way I bring [Heather] food in bed and present it to her using an imi­ta­tion of Mario Batali’s voice from TV.” You’ll prob­a­bly find your own brand of pre­sen­ta­tion, but all of the dish­es look both chal­leng­ing and total­ly worth the effort. To read about Albini’s adven­tures in the culi­nary exot­ic, check out the archives of his now-dor­mant food blog here.

via Metafil­ter

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Read Steve Albini’s Uncom­pro­mis­ing Pro­pos­al to Pro­duce Nirvana’s In Utero (1993)

An Awkward/NSFW Inter­view with Nir­vana Pro­duc­er Steve Albi­ni (Plus B‑52 Front­man Fred Schnei­der)

1967 Cook­book Fea­tures Recipes by the Rolling Stones, Simon & Gar­funkel, Bar­bra Streisand & More

Josh Jones is a writer and musi­cian based in Durham, NC. Fol­low him at @jdmagness

How Bourbon is Made: The ABC’s in 9 Minutes

Head over to Prince­ton Uni­ver­si­ty’s web entry on Bour­bon, and you will learn that, back in 1964, the U.S. Con­gress rec­og­nized Bour­bon Whiskey as a “dis­tinc­tive prod­uct of the Unit­ed States,” and the Fed­er­al Stan­dards of Iden­ti­ty for Dis­tilled Spir­its (27 C.F.R. 5.22) estab­lished a bunch of laws defin­ing what Bour­bon is, and isn’t. The Stan­dards read as fol­lows:

  • Only whiskey pro­duced in the Unit­ed States can be called bour­bon.
  • Bour­bon must be made of a grain mix­ture that is at least 51% corn (maize).
  • Bour­bon must be dis­tilled to no more than 160 (U.S.) proof (80% alco­hol by vol­ume).
  • Nei­ther col­or­ing nor fla­vor­ing may be added.
  • Bour­bon must be aged in new, charred oak bar­rels.
  • Bour­bon must be entered into the bar­rel at no more than 125 proof (62.5% alco­hol by vol­ume).
  • Bour­bon, like oth­er whiskeys, must be bot­tled at not less than 80 proof (40% alco­hol by vol­ume.)
  • Bour­bon that meets the above require­ments and has been aged for a min­i­mum of two years may (but is not required to) be called Straight Bour­bon.
  • Straight Bour­bon aged for a peri­od less than four years must be labeled with the dura­tion of its aging.
  • If an age is stat­ed on the label, it must be the age of the youngest whiskey in the bot­tle.

If a spir­it does­n’t com­ply with these rules, it ain’t Bour­bon.

In the video above, Gear Patrol takes a clos­er look at how Bour­bon is made. The pro­duc­ers toured 12 dis­til­leries in five days, and asked each to explain the Bour­bon-mak­ing process. Along the way, you will fig­ure out why so much Bour­bon comes from Ken­tucky. It comes down to geol­o­gy, not chance.

via Devour

Relat­ed Con­tent:

The Physics of Guin­ness Beer Demys­ti­fied

How to Open a Wine Bot­tle with Your Shoe for the DIY Con­nois­seur

Sci­ence & Cook­ing: Harvard’s Free Course on Mak­ing Cakes, Pael­la & Oth­er Deli­cious Food

MIT Teach­es You How to Speak Ital­ian & Cook Ital­ian Cui­sine All at Once (Free Online Course)

Michael Pollan Explains How Cooking Can Change Your Life; Recommends Cooking Books, Videos & Recipes

Last year, we fea­tured “How Cook­ing Can Change Your Life,” an ani­mat­ed short based on the work of In Defense of FoodThe Omni­vore’s Dilem­ma, and Food Rules author Michael Pol­lan. If you want more — and the culi­nar­i­ly inclined fans of Pol­lan, a self-described “lib­er­al food­ie intel­lec­tu­al,” often can’t get enough — have a look at his extend­ed pre­sen­ta­tion on the same sub­ject above. (If you pre­fer an audio pod­cast, you can get an MP3 with audi­ence Q&A and all here.) The talk came as part of an event held at the Roy­al Soci­ety for the Encour­age­ment of Arts, Man­u­fac­tures and Com­merce (RSA), which con­fronts the daunt­ing ques­tion of how peo­ple can “improve their family’s health and well-being, build com­mu­ni­ties, help fix our bro­ken food sys­tem, and break our grow­ing depen­dence on cor­po­ra­tions.” Pol­lan’s rec­om­men­da­tion, it may or may not sur­prise you to hear, comes down to one sim­ple act: cook­ing.

Of course, any­one who decides to jump into cook­ing in the 21st cen­tu­ry real­izes how sim­ple it isn’t, or at least how com­pli­cat­ed we’ve made it. Pol­lan, as luck would have it, real­izes this, so today we’ve round­ed up some of his resources that can help you learn to cook bet­ter, or indeed cook at all. Sur­pris­ing­ly, the man him­self has nev­er writ­ten a cook­book. “While I enjoy cook­ing, I’ll leave the art of per­fect­ing and dis­sem­i­nat­ing recipes to the pros,” he writes. “That said, I believe that if you can read, you can cook, and I have a few cook­books that I use reg­u­lar­ly and rec­om­mend to those of you want­i­ng good, healthy and basic recipes” — from Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Every­thing and How to Cook Every­thing Veg­e­tar­i­an to Chez Panisse chef Alice Waters’ The Art of Sim­ple Food, and even (“when I have an ingre­di­ent I want to use but don’t know what to do with it”) epicurious.com.

You can find more Pol­lan-endorsed food read­ing, includ­ing San­dor Katz’s The Art of Fer­men­ta­tion and Michael Moss’ Salt Sug­ar Fat, on his lists at Omnivo­ra­cious and Barnes and Noble. He also offers a roundup of online cook­ing resources:

Pol­lan’s sec­tion on cook­ing class­es and oth­er ways to learn to cook, aside from a vari­ety of sug­ges­tions of region­al insti­tu­tions, includes these use­ful options:

  • A “free, beau­ti­ful book full of recipes that fit a food stamp bud­get” called Good and Cheap.
  • Skill­Share, whose “inno­v­a­tive plat­form allows almost any­one, any­where to teach a project-based class either online to a glob­al com­mu­ni­ty or offline in their local com­mu­ni­ty. You can search for cook­ing, brew­ing or bread bak­ing class­es in your region.”
  • Life­Hack­er and its “cook­ing advice, recipes and how to’s.”

And if you missed it, don’t for­get to take Pol­lan’s own course “Edi­ble Edu­ca­tion,” free from UC Berke­ley. I like to think he’d sec­ond my own advice on the mat­ter: just cook some­thing that sounds good, any­thing that sounds good, right now. Not that I dare inflict the result on friends and fam­i­ly until I’ve learned a lit­tle more — which is when all those links above come in handy.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

How Cook­ing Can Change Your Life: A Short Ani­mat­ed Film Fea­tur­ing the Wis­dom of Michael Pol­lan

Michael Pollan’s Book, Food Rules, Brought to Life with Ani­ma­tion

Michael Pol­lan on Sus­tain­able Food

MIT Teach­es You How to Speak Ital­ian & Cook Ital­ian Cui­sine All at Once (Free Online Course)

Sci­ence & Cook­ing: Har­vard Profs Meet World-Class Chefs in Unique Online Course

Col­in Mar­shall hosts and pro­duces Note­book on Cities and Cul­ture and writes essays on cities, lan­guage, Asia, and men’s style. He’s at work on a book about Los Ange­les, A Los Ange­les Primer. Fol­low him on Twit­ter at @colinmarshall or on Face­book.

53 New York Times Videos Teach Essential Cooking Techniques: From Poaching Eggs to Shucking Oysters

I was blessed to grow up around a grand­moth­er who cooked every meal like she was feed­ing a dozen fam­ished farmhands. She nev­er spelled out all her var­i­ous tricks and short cuts … let’s not call them hacks. She just did what she did, and I picked it up by osmo­sis, using a juice glass for a bis­cuit cut­ter and watch­ing for pock­marks in the pan­cake bat­ter. End­less hours in her kitchen made me a con­fi­dent chef long before I was in a posi­tion to buy my own gro­ceries.

Not every­one is so for­tu­nate, I know.

They get their infor­ma­tion from Julia Child, Martha Stew­art, some pseu­do­ny­mous food blog­ger or pos­si­bly my friend, Jesse, whose exper­tise as a builder extends to things culi­nary. He once insist­ed on show­ing me a more effi­cient way to cut up man­go. My grandmother’s trop­i­cal fruit expe­ri­ence maxed out at oranges, so I was on my own in the sep­a­rat­ing man­go flesh from man­go bone depart­ment. I tried it his way a cou­ple of times, before revert­ing to my non-way.

There’s unde­ni­able com­pet­i­tive­ness amongst those of us who pride our­selves on our cook­ing abil­i­ties. Our skills are our hon­or. So help me if I went on Top Chef, and some guest judge decreed I was doing some­thing wrong!

For the record, The New York Times endors­es Jesse’s man­go tech­nique above, in their short instruc­tion­al video series, Cook­ing Tech­niques. There are 53 videos in total.

I can see how such a col­lec­tion would come in handy for those who didn’t grow up around my grand­moth­er, Jesse, or me.

And speak­ing of handy, all fledg­ling chefs are advised to get a firm han­dle on knife tech­niques before pick­ing up a noto­ri­ous­ly slip­pery-fleshed fruit and cut­ting toward their own fin­gers! Such reck­less­ness would nev­er have passed muster with the edi­tors of the Bet­ty Crock­er New Boys and Girls Cook­book. The Times is liv­ing on the edge!

Some of the con­tent has a dopey wash-rinse-repeat vibe, abet­ted by an odd­ly fla­vor­less nar­ra­tive voice. (Not every­one has Thug Kitchen’s nar­ra­tive sparkle. I should be grate­ful for the per­son­al­i­ty shin­ing through oth­er Times videos, notably Bill Cunningham’s “On The Street.”)

I’ll eat those words should I ever need to shuck an oys­ter, anoth­er one of those culi­nary duties that had no place on my Mid­west­ern grandmother’s agen­da. Not to say that my kitchen abil­i­ties are limned by the culi­nary stan­dards of 1970s Indi­ana. I fling around fish sauce and coconuts with Siamese aban­don, but oys­ters always seem so damn daunt­ing. Could owe to ear­ly read­ings of Lewis Car­roll.

I don’t know what I was so afraid of. Appar­ent­ly all it takes is 30 sec­onds and a dish­tow­el. (And an oys­ter knife, but we’ve got draw­er­fuls of those, the trick­le down effect of my husband’s Cape Cod boy­hood.)

Ulti­mate­ly, it’s sol­id stuff, but though with apolo­gies to our veg­e­tar­i­an read­ers, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. You can poach eggs a la the Times, or do it my way by adding a table­spoon of vine­gar to the poach­ing water. No fussy pre-poach. Boom! Done!

Sim­i­lar­ly stem­ming greens. My way, gleaned, not from my gran, but a hand­writ­ten, illus­trat­ed zine ear­li­er this mil­len­ni­um, doesn’t even require a knife! Hold that kale stem side up, using your oth­er hand as an ersatz prong, tear­ing the leaf from stem to stern.

Good heav­ens. Is that where that expres­sion came from? Per­haps some­one at the Times would know…. See all 53 of their cook­ing tech­nique videos here.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

How Cook­ing Can Change Your Life: A Short Ani­mat­ed Film Fea­tur­ing the Wis­dom of Michael Pol­lan

Sci­ence & Cook­ing: Harvard’s Free Course on Mak­ing Cakes, Pael­la & Oth­er Deli­cious Food

MIT Teach­es You How to Speak Ital­ian & Cook Ital­ian Food All at Once (Free Online Course)

Ayun Hal­l­i­day is an author, home­school­er, for­mer food blog­ger and Chief Pri­ma­tol­o­gist of the East Vil­lage Inky zine. Fol­low her @AyunHalliday

Pablo Picasso’s Two Favorite Recipes: Eel Stew & Omelette Tortilla Niçoise

picasso stew

Back in 1964, Pablo Picas­so shared with Vogue’s food colum­nist Ninette Lyon two of his favorite recipes — one for Eel Stew, the oth­er for Omelette Tor­tilla Niçoise. If you live in the South of France, as Picas­so did, the recipes prob­a­bly won’t be entire­ly for­eign to you. But if you aren’t so lucky, you might want to add these recipes, now reprint­ed by Vogue, to your culi­nary buck­et list.

Below, we’ve high­light­ed the ingre­di­ents for the recipes. But, for step-by-step direc­tions on how to pre­pare the dish­es, head over to Vogue itself.

For more recipes from cul­tur­al icons — Hem­ing­way, Tol­stoy, Alice B. Tok­las, Jane Austen, David Lynch, Miles Davis, etc. — head to the bot­tom of this page.

Eel Stew for Four Peo­ple

6 table­spoons olive oil
6 table­spoons but­ter
12 small white onions
1 tea­spoon sug­ar
2 yel­low onions, chopped
12 mush­rooms
⅓ pound salt pork, cubed
2 shal­lots, minced
2 cloves gar­lic, minced
2 eels of about 1 pound each, cut into four- to five-inch sec­tions
1 bot­tle of good red wine
1 table­spoon flour
Salt, pep­per, cayenne pep­per
Bou­quet gar­ni: thyme, bay leaf, pars­ley, fen­nel, and a small branch of cel­ery

Omelette Tor­tilla Niçoise for Four Peo­ple
6 table­spoons olive oil
1 large onion
4 pep­pers, red and green
3 toma­toes
2 table­spoons wine vine­gar
8 eggs
Salt and pep­per

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Ernest Hemingway’s Favorite Ham­burg­er Recipe

Leo Tolstoy’s Fam­i­ly Recipe for Mac­a­roni and Cheese

David Lynch Teach­es You to Cook His Quinoa Recipe in a Weird, Sur­re­al­ist Video

Thomas Jefferson’s Hand­writ­ten Vanil­la Ice Cream Recipe

Alice B. Tok­las Reads Her Famous Recipe for Hashish Fudge (1963)

Mar­i­lyn Monroe’s Hand­writ­ten Turkey-and-Stuff­ing Recipe

Read Film­mak­er Luis Buñuel’s Recipe for the Per­fect Dry Mar­ti­ni, and Then See Him Make One

Miles Davis’ “South Side Chica­go Chili Mack” Recipe Revealed

The Recipes of Icon­ic Authors: Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Roald Dahl, the Mar­quis de Sade & More

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