Charles Bukowski Rails Against 9‑to‑5 Jobs in a Brutally Honest Letter (1986)

Charles_Bukowski_smoking

Charles Bukows­ki—or “Hank” to his friends—assiduously cul­ti­vat­ed a lit­er­ary per­sona as a peren­ni­al drunk­en dead­beat. He most­ly lived it too, but for a few odd jobs and a peri­od of time, just over a decade, that he spent work­ing for the Unit­ed States Post Office, begin­ning in the ear­ly fifties as a fill-in let­ter car­ri­er, then lat­er for over a decade as a fil­ing clerk. He found the work mind-numb­ing, soul-crush­ing, and any num­ber of oth­er adjec­tives one uses to describe repet­i­tive and deeply unful­fill­ing labor. Actu­al­ly, one needn’t sup­ply a description—Bukowski has splen­did­ly done so for us, both in his fic­tion and in the epis­tle below unearthed by Let­ters of Note.

In Bukowski’s first nov­el Post Office (1971), the writer of lowlife com­e­dy and pathos builds in plen­ty of wish-ful­fill­ment for his lit­er­ary alter ego Hen­ry Chi­nas­ki. Kyle Ryan at The Onion’s A.V. Club sums it up suc­cinct­ly: “In Bukowski’s world, Chi­nas­ki is prac­ti­cal­ly irre­sistible to women, despite his alco­holism, misog­y­ny, and gen­er­al crank­i­ness.” In real­i­ty, to say that Bukows­ki found lit­tle solace in his work would be a gross under­state­ment. But unlike most of his equal­ly mis­er­able co-work­ers, Bukows­ki got to retire ear­ly, at age 49, when, in 1969, Black Spar­row Press pub­lish­er John Mar­tin offered him $100 a month for life on the con­di­tion that he quit his job and write full time.

Need­less to say, he was thrilled, so much so that he penned the let­ter below fif­teen years lat­er, express­ing his grat­i­tude to Mar­tin and describ­ing, with char­ac­ter­is­tic bru­tal hon­esty, the life of the aver­age wage slave. And though com­par­isons to slav­ery usu­al­ly come as close to the lev­el of absurd exag­ger­a­tion as com­par­isons to Nazism, Bukowski’s por­trait of the 9 to 5 life makes a very con­vinc­ing case for what we might call the the­sis of his let­ter: “Slav­ery was nev­er abol­ished, it was only extend­ed to include all the col­ors.”

After read­ing his let­ter below, you may feel a great deal more sym­pa­thy, if you did not already, with Bukowski’s life choic­es. You may find your­self, in fact, re-eval­u­at­ing your own.

8–12-86

Hel­lo John:

Thanks for the good let­ter. I don’t think it hurts, some­times, to remem­ber where you came from. You know the places where I came from. Even the peo­ple who try to write about that or make films about it, they don’t get it right. They call it “9 to 5.” It’s nev­er 9 to 5, there’s no free lunch break at those places, in fact, at many of them in order to keep your job you don’t take lunch. Then there’s OVERTIME and the books nev­er seem to get the over­time right and if you com­plain about that, there’s anoth­er suck­er to take your place.

You know my old say­ing, “Slav­ery was nev­er abol­ished, it was only extend­ed to include all the col­ors.”

And what hurts is the steadi­ly dimin­ish­ing human­i­ty of those fight­ing to hold jobs they don’t want but fear the alter­na­tive worse. Peo­ple sim­ply emp­ty out. They are bod­ies with fear­ful and obe­di­ent minds. The col­or leaves the eye. The voice becomes ugly. And the body. The hair. The fin­ger­nails. The shoes. Every­thing does.

As a young man I could not believe that peo­ple could give their lives over to those con­di­tions. As an old man, I still can’t believe it. What do they do it for? Sex? TV? An auto­mo­bile on month­ly pay­ments? Or chil­dren? Chil­dren who are just going to do the same things that they did?

Ear­ly on, when I was quite young and going from job to job I was fool­ish enough to some­times speak to my fel­low work­ers: “Hey, the boss can come in here at any moment and lay all of us off, just like that, don’t you real­ize that?”

They would just look at me. I was pos­ing some­thing that they did­n’t want to enter their minds.

Now in indus­try, there are vast lay­offs (steel mills dead, tech­ni­cal changes in oth­er fac­tors of the work place). They are layed off by the hun­dreds of thou­sands and their faces are stunned:

“I put in 35 years…”

“It ain’t right…”

“I don’t know what to do…”

They nev­er pay the slaves enough so they can get free, just enough so they can stay alive and come back to work. I could see all this. Why could­n’t they? I fig­ured the park bench was just as good or being a barfly was just as good. Why not get there first before they put me there? Why wait?

I just wrote in dis­gust against it all, it was a relief to get the shit out of my sys­tem. And now that I’m here, a so-called pro­fes­sion­al writer, after giv­ing the first 50 years away, I’ve found out that there are oth­er dis­gusts beyond the sys­tem.

I remem­ber once, work­ing as a pack­er in this light­ing fix­ture com­pa­ny, one of the pack­ers sud­den­ly said: “I’ll nev­er be free!”

One of the boss­es was walk­ing by (his name was Mor­rie) and he let out this deli­cious cack­le of a laugh, enjoy­ing the fact that this fel­low was trapped for life.

So, the luck I final­ly had in get­ting out of those places, no mat­ter how long it took, has giv­en me a kind of joy, the jol­ly joy of the mir­a­cle. I now write from an old mind and an old body, long beyond the time when most men would ever think of con­tin­u­ing such a thing, but since I start­ed so late I owe it to myself to con­tin­ue, and when the words begin to fal­ter and I must be helped up stair­ways and I can no longer tell a blue­bird from a paper­clip, I still feel that some­thing in me is going to remem­ber (no mat­ter how far I’m gone) how I’ve come through the mur­der and the mess and the moil, to at least a gen­er­ous way to die.

To not to have entire­ly wast­ed one’s life seems to be a wor­thy accom­plish­ment, if only for myself.

yr boy,

Hank

via Fla­vor­wire

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Charles Bukows­ki: Depres­sion and Three Days in Bed Can Restore Your Cre­ative Juices (NSFW)

“Don’t Try”: Charles Bukowski’s Con­cise Phi­los­o­phy of Art and Life

The Last (Faxed) Poem of Charles Bukows­ki

Josh Jones is a writer and musi­cian based in Durham, NC. Fol­low him at @jdmagness

Great Opening Lines of Fiction on Old School IBM Punch Cards

Call me Ishmael 2Look­ing to kill some time dur­ing the dog days of sum­mer? Here’s one option that John Ptak came up with. On his intrigu­ing blog, The His­to­ry of Ideas, he writes: “Isn’t this great?  I bumped into a won­der­ful site called kloth.net that pro­vides a free-to-all and unre­strict­ed use of their punch card emu­la­tor. It was found while look­ing for dat­ing ideas for an IBM 5081 card that I have that has pro­gram­ming infor­ma­tion for the BINAC com­put­er (ca. late 1940’s), and kloth.net had info on the his­to­ry of IBM cards as well as the emulator–plus oth­er stuff. Com­plete­ly dis­tract­ed from the BINAC quest, I cre­at­ed some cards using some great first lines of lit­er­a­ture.  You can play too!”  I cre­at­ed two of my own, using The Amer­i­can Book Review’s list of 100 great open­ing lines.

I am an invisible man 2

What exact­ly is a punch card, our younger read­ers might right­ly ask? An IBM web site tells us:

Per­haps the ear­li­est icon of the Infor­ma­tion Age was a sim­ple punched card pro­duced by IBM, com­mon­ly known as the “IBM card.” Mea­sur­ing just 7- 3/8 inch­es by 3- 1/4 inch­es, the piece of smooth stock paper was unas­sum­ing, to be sure. But tak­en col­lec­tive­ly, the IBM card [like the flop­py disks that came lat­er] held near­ly all of the world’s known infor­ma­tion for just under half a century—an impres­sive feat even by today’s mea­sures. It rose to pop­u­lar­i­ty dur­ing the Great Depres­sion and quick­ly became a ubiq­ui­tous install­ment in the worlds of data pro­cess­ing and pop­u­lar cul­ture. What’s more, the punched card [see exam­ples from Colum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty here] pro­vid­ed such a sig­nif­i­cant prof­it stream that it was instru­men­tal to IBM’s rapid growth in the mid-twen­ti­eth cen­tu­ry.

Now punch away.…

via The Paris Review

Relat­ed Con­tent:

“They Were There” — Errol Mor­ris Final­ly Directs a Film for IBM

The First Piz­za Ordered by Com­put­er, 1974

Great Moments in Com­put­er His­to­ry: Dou­glas Engel­bart Presents “The Moth­er of All Demos” (1968)

A Short His­to­ry of Roman­ian Com­put­ing: From 1961 to 1989

Free Online Com­put­er Sci­ence Cours­es

Down­load 55 Free Online Lit­er­a­ture Cours­es: From Dante and Mil­ton to Ker­ouac and Tolkien

 

 

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Hunter S. Thompson’s Conspiratorial 9/11 Interview: “The Public Version of the News is Never Really What Happened”

Hav­ing read almost every­thing the pro­lif­ic Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas author Hunter S. Thomp­son ever wrote, I don’t know if I would call him para­noid, per se. Nor do I know if I would call him not para­noid. He cer­tain­ly trust­ed no enti­ty with pow­er, espe­cial­ly not gov­ern­ments, and real­ly espe­cial­ly not the Unit­ed States gov­ern­ment. So by the time Sep­tem­ber 11, 2001 came around, he had lit­tle good­will to spare for any of the major play­ers involved in its after­math. “The tow­ers are gone now, reduced to bloody rub­ble, along with all hopes for Peace in Our Time, in the Unit­ed States or any oth­er coun­try,” he wrote in his Sep­tem­ber 12 ESPN col­umn. “Make no mis­take about it: We are At War now — with some­body — and we will stay At War with that mys­te­ri­ous Ene­my for the rest of our lives. It will be a Reli­gious War, a sort of Chris­t­ian Jihad, fueled by reli­gious hatred and led by mer­ci­less fanat­ics on both sides.”

A year lat­er, Aus­trali­a’s ABC Radio Nation­al got Thomp­son’s assess­ment of the sit­u­a­tion. Host Mick O’Re­gan opens the now famous inter­view above by ask­ing how he thought the U.S. media had per­formed in the new post‑9/11 real­i­ty. “ ‘Shame­ful­ly’ is a word that comes to mind,” responds Thomp­son. “Amer­i­can jour­nal­ism I think has been cowed and intim­i­dat­ed by the mas­sive flag-suck­ing, this patri­ot­ic orgy that the White House keeps whip­ping up. You know if you crit­i­cise the Pres­i­dent it’s unpa­tri­ot­ic and there’s some­thing wrong with you, you may be a ter­ror­ist.” And does he think 9/11 “worked in favor of the Bush Admin­is­tra­tion?” For Thomp­son’s full answer, blog­ger Scratch­ing­dog tracked down the orig­i­nal record­ing of the inter­view, not the edit­ed ver­sion actu­al­ly aired on ABC, and heard this:

Oh, absolute­ly. Absolute­ly. And I have spent enough time on the inside of, well, in the White House and you know, cam­paigns and I’ve known enough peo­ple who do these things, think this way, to know that the pub­lic ver­sion of the news or what­ev­er event, is nev­er real­ly what hap­pened. And these peo­ple I think are will­ing to take that even fur­ther, so I don’t assume that I know the truth of what went on that day, and yeah, just look­ing around and look­ing for who had the motive, who had the oppor­tu­ni­ty, who had the equip­ment, who had the will. Yeah, these peo­ple were loot­ing the trea­sury and they knew the econ­o­my was going into a spi­ral down­ward.

9/11 con­spir­a­cy the­o­rists have made much of this response and oth­er Thomp­son­ian analy­sis found in the unedit­ed inter­view, going so far as to sug­gest that maybe — just maybe — the writer died three years lat­er of some­thing oth­er than sui­cide. Giv­en Thomp­son’s com­pul­sion to speak truth to pow­er, and some­times to wave firearms around in front of it, any fan of his work can’t help but harsh­ly scru­ti­nize, and often pre-emp­tive­ly dis­miss, any and all “offi­cial sto­ries” they hap­pen to hear. We’ll nev­er know whether Thomp­son would have approved of the “9/11 Truth” move­ment in the forms it has tak­en today, but they do share his spir­it of cre­ative dis­trust. And per­haps a touch of para­noia gave his writ­ing its dis­tinc­tive verve. Nobody moves into what they unfail­ing­ly describe as a “for­ti­fied com­pound,” after all, with­out at least a lit­tle bit of it.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Read 11 Free Arti­cles by Hunter S. Thomp­son That Span His Gonzo Jour­nal­ist Career (1965–2005)

Hunter S. Thompson’s Har­row­ing, Chem­i­cal-Filled Dai­ly Rou­tine

Hunter S. Thomp­son Calls Tech Sup­port, Unleash­es a Tirade Full of Fear and Loathing (NSFW)

Noam Chom­sky Schools 9/11 Truther; Explains the Sci­ence of Mak­ing Cred­i­ble Claims

Col­in Mar­shall hosts and pro­duces Note­book on Cities and Cul­ture and writes essays on cities, lan­guage, Asia, and men’s style. He’s at work on a book about Los Ange­les, A Los Ange­les Primer. Fol­low him on Twit­ter at @colinmarshall or on Face­book.

The Ramones, a New Punk Band, Play One of Their Very First Shows at CBGB (1974)

“Ramones Reunion Near­ly Com­plete,” announced The Onion just about ten years ago, after the death of the band’s gui­tarist John­ny Ramone. His band­mates Joey and Dee Dee Ramone had each tak­en their leave of this mor­tal coil a few years before, and now, with the pass­ing of drum­mer Tom­my Ramone, all the group’s orig­i­nal mem­bers have gone to that big CBGB in the sky. In the video above, you can see the Ramones play­ing at the small CBGB down here on Earth — way down here on Earth, giv­en the set­ting of down­town Man­hat­tan in 1974. That year alone, after the rev­e­la­tion they brought about after first tak­ing the stage in their bangs, ripped jeans, and black leather jack­ets on August 16, they played the now-his­toric rock club no few­er than 74 times. Show length aver­aged about sev­en­teen min­utes, which means this video, at just sev­en min­utes, includes quite a few songs. The setlist includes “Now I Wan­na Sniff Some Glue,” “I Don’t Wan­na Go Down to the Base­ment,” and “Judy Is a Punk.”

This per­for­mance hap­pened on Sep­tem­ber 15, 1974, six months after their debut at Per­for­mance Stu­dios in March of that year. They would­n’t sign a record­ing con­tract until late the next year, but they would do it because the wife of Sire Records co-founder Sey­mour Stein saw them at CBGB. Though the Ramones always prid­ed them­selves on the raw­ness of their sound, this show catch­es them at a moment when, though they’d already armed them­selves with looks and the atti­tude that made them instant icons, they still had to feel their way through exact­ly what this “punk rock” thing would turn into. You can see their music tak­ing an even clear­er, more dis­tilled form in the 1977 CBGB set we fea­tured last year. They may have lived fast, the Ramones, but they played even faster. Could they have done it with­out the bor­der­line-unpun­k­like skill of their drum­mer?

Relat­ed Con­tent:

The Ramones in Their Hey­day, Filmed “Live at CBGB,” 1977

The Ramones Play a New Year’s Eve Con­cert in Lon­don, 1977

CBGB’s: The Roots of Punk Lets You Watch Vin­tage Footage from the Hey­day of NYC’s Great Music Scene

Watch the Sex Pis­tols’ Very Last Con­cert (San Fran­cis­co, 1978)

Rare Live Footage Doc­u­ments The Clash From Their Raw Debut to the Career-Defin­ing Lon­don Call­ing

Col­in Mar­shall hosts and pro­duces Note­book on Cities and Cul­ture and writes essays on cities, lan­guage, Asia, and men’s style. He’s at work on a book about Los Ange­les, A Los Ange­les Primer. Fol­low him on Twit­ter at @colinmarshall or on Face­book.

5 Wonderfully Long Literary Sentences by Samuel Beckett, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald & Other Masters of the Run-On

TheFaulknerPortable

Despite its occa­sion­al use in spo­ken mono­logue, the Very Long Lit­er­ary Sen­tence prop­er­ly exists in the mind (hence “stream-of-con­scious­ness”), since the most wordy of lit­er­ary exha­la­tions would exhaust the lungs’ capac­i­ty. Mol­ly Bloom’s 36-page, two-sen­tence run-on solil­o­quy at the close of Joyce’s Ulysses takes place entire­ly in her thoughts. Faulkner’s longest sentence—smack in the mid­dle of Absa­lom, Absa­lom! —unspools in Quentin Compson’s tor­tured, silent rumi­na­tions. Accord­ing to a 1983 Guin­ness Book of Records, this mon­ster once qual­i­fied as literature’s longest at 1,288 words, but that record has long been sur­passed, in Eng­lish at least, by Jonathan Coe’s The Rotter’s Club, which ends with a 33-page-long, 13,955 word sen­tence. Czech and Pol­ish nov­el­ists have writ­ten book-length sen­tences since the six­ties, and French writer Math­ias Énard puts them all to shame with a one-sen­tence nov­el 517 pages long, though its sta­tus is “com­pro­mised by 23 chap­ter breaks that alle­vi­ate eye strain,” writes Ed Park in the New York Times. Like Faulkner’s glo­ri­ous run-ons, Jacob Sil­ver­man describes Énard’s one-sen­tence Zone as trans­mut­ing “the hor­rif­ic into some­thing sub­lime.”

Are these lit­er­ary stunts kin to Philippe Petit’s high­wire chal­lenges—under­tak­en for the thrill and just to show they can be done? Park sees the “The Very Long Sen­tence” in more philo­soph­i­cal terms, as “a futile hedge against sep­a­ra­tion, an unwill­ing­ness to part from loved ones, the world, life itself.” Per­haps this is why the very long sen­tence seems most expres­sive of life at its fullest and most expan­sive. Below, we bring you five long lit­er­ary sen­tences culled from var­i­ous sources on the sub­ject. These are, of course, not the “5 longest,” nor the “5 best,” nor any oth­er superla­tive. They are sim­ply five fine exam­ples of The Very Long Sen­tence in lit­er­a­ture. Enjoy read­ing and re-read­ing them, and please leave your favorite Very Long Sen­tence in the com­ments.

At The New York­er’s “Book Club,” Jon Michaud points us toward this long sen­tence, from Samuel Beckett’s Watt. We find the title char­ac­ter, “an obses­sive­ly ratio­nal ser­vant,” attempt­ing to “see a pat­tern in how his mas­ter, Mr. Knott, rearranges the fur­ni­ture.”

Thus it was not rare to find, on the Sun­day, the tall­boy on its feet by the fire, and the dress­ing table on its head by the bed, and the night-stool on its face by the door, and the was­hand-stand on its back by the win­dow; and, on the Mon­day, the tall­boy on its back by the bed, and the dress­ing table on its face by the door, and the night-stool on its back by the win­dow and the was­hand-stand on its feet by the fire; and on the Tues­day…

Here, writes Michaud, the long sen­tence con­veys “a des­per­ate attempt to nail down all the pos­si­bil­i­ties in a giv­en sit­u­a­tion, to keep the world under con­trol by enu­mer­at­ing it.”

The next exam­ple, from Poyn­ter, achieves a very dif­fer­ent effect. Instead of list­ing con­crete objects, the sen­tence below from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gats­by opens up into a series of abstract phras­es.

Its van­ished trees, the trees that had made way for Gatsby’s house, had once pan­dered in whis­pers to the last and great­est of all human dreams; for a tran­si­to­ry enchant­ed moment man must have held his breath in the pres­ence of this con­ti­nent, com­pelled into an aes­thet­ic con­tem­pla­tion he nei­ther under­stood nor desired, face to face for the last time in his­to­ry with some­thing com­men­su­rate to his capac­i­ty for won­der.

Cho­sen by The Amer­i­can Schol­ar edi­tors as one of the “ten best sen­tences,” the pas­sage, writes Roy Peter Clark, achieves quite a feat: “Long sen­tences don’t usu­al­ly hold togeth­er under the weight of abstrac­tions, but this one sets a clear path to the most impor­tant phrase, plant­ed firm­ly at the end, ‘his capac­i­ty for won­der.’”

Jane Wong at Tin House’s blog “The Open Bar” quotes the hyp­not­ic sen­tence below from Jamaica Kincaid’s “The Let­ter from Home.”

I milked the cows, I churned the but­ter, I stored the cheese, I baked the bread, I brewed the tea, I washed the clothes, I dressed the chil­dren; the cat meowed, the dog barked, the horse neighed, the mouse squeaked, the fly buzzed, the gold­fish liv­ing in a bowl stretched its jaws; the door banged shut, the stairs creaked, the fridge hummed, the cur­tains bil­lowed up, the pot boiled, the gas hissed through the stove, the tree branch­es heavy with snow crashed against the roof; my heart beat loud­ly thud! thud!, tiny beads of water grew folds, I shed my skin…

Kincaid’s sen­tences, Wong writes, “have the abil­i­ty to simul­ta­ne­ous­ly sus­pend and pro­pel the read­er. We trust her semi-colons and fol­low until we are sur­prised to find the peri­od. We stand on that rock of a period—with water all around us, and ask: how did we get here?”

The blog Paper­back Writer brings us the “puz­zle” below from noto­ri­ous long-sen­tence-writer Vir­ginia Woolf’s essay “On Being Ill”:

Con­sid­er­ing how com­mon ill­ness is, how tremen­dous the spir­i­tu­al change that it brings, how aston­ish­ing, when the lights of health go down, the undis­cov­ered coun­tries that are then dis­closed, what wastes and deserts of the soul a slight attack of influen­za brings to view, what precipices and lawns sprin­kled with bright flow­ers a lit­tle rise of tem­per­a­ture reveals, what ancient and obdu­rate oaks are uproot­ed in us by the act of sick­ness, how we go down into the pit of death and feel the water of anni­hi­la­tion close above our heads and wake think­ing to find our­selves in the pres­ence of the angels and harpers when we have a tooth out and come to the sur­face in the dentist’s arm-chair and con­fuse his “Rinse the Mouth —- rinse the mouth” with the greet­ing of the Deity stoop­ing from the floor of Heav­en to wel­come us – when we think of this, as we are fre­quent­ly forced to think of it, it becomes strange indeed that ill­ness has not tak­en its place with love and bat­tle and jeal­ousy among the prime themes of lit­er­a­ture.

Blog­ger Rebec­ca quotes Woolf as a chal­lenge to her read­ers to become bet­ter writ­ers. “This sen­tence is not some­thing to be feared,” she writes, “it is some­thing to be embraced.”

Final­ly, from The Barnes & Noble Book Blog, we have the very Mol­ly Bloom-like sen­tence below from John Updike’s Rab­bit, Run:

But then they were mar­ried (she felt awful about being preg­nant before but Har­ry had been talk­ing about mar­riage for a while and any­way laughed when she told him in ear­ly Feb­ru­ary about miss­ing her peri­od and said Great she was ter­ri­bly fright­ened and he said Great and lift­ed her put his arms around under her bot­tom and lift­ed her like you would a child he could be so won­der­ful when you didn’t expect it in a way it seemed impor­tant that you didn’t expect it there was so much nice in him she couldn’t explain to any­body she had been so fright­ened about being preg­nant and he made her be proud) they were mar­ried after her miss­ing her sec­ond peri­od in March and she was still lit­tle clum­sy dark-com­plect­ed Jan­ice Springer and her hus­band was a con­ceit­ed lunk who wasn’t good for any­thing in the world Dad­dy said and the feel­ing of being alone would melt a lit­tle with a lit­tle drink.

Sen­tences like these, writes Barnes & Noble blog­ger Han­na McGrath, “demand some­thing from the read­er: patience.” That may be so, but they reward that patience with delight for those who love lan­guage too rich for the pinched lim­i­ta­tions of worka­day gram­mar and syn­tax.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Open­ing Sen­tences From Great Nov­els, Dia­grammed: Loli­ta, 1984 & More

Lists of the Best Sen­tences — Open­ing, Clos­ing, and Oth­er­wise — in Eng­lish-Lan­guage Nov­els

Cor­mac McCarthy’s Three Punc­tu­a­tion Rules, and How They All Go Back to James Joyce

Josh Jones is a writer and musi­cian based in Durham, NC. Fol­low him at @jdmagness

James Franco’s Short Student Film Features Michael Shannon Playing a Necrophile (NSFW)

It’s entire­ly pos­si­ble that James Fran­co has a dop­pel­ganger. Or maybe access to some alien space/time bend­ing tech­nol­o­gy. Oth­er­wise, I real­ly can’t fig­ure out how Fran­co man­ages to do all the things he does. On top of star­ring in movies like Milk, Spring Break­ers and Pineap­ple Express and get­ting nom­i­nat­ed for an Acad­e­my Award for 127 Hours, Fran­co is also a pub­lished nov­el­ist and poet, an artist and, as an odd per­for­mance art rou­tine, a guest on Gen­er­al Hos­pi­tal. He received an MFA in writ­ing from Colum­bia, and is cur­rent­ly a PhD stu­dent in Eng­lish at Yale.

And, of course, he’s a film direc­tor. His first fea­ture was an adap­ta­tion of William Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying and his sec­ond direc­to­r­i­al effort, which comes out next month, is based on Cor­mac McCarthy’s nov­el Child of God. Clear­ly, Fran­co is not inter­est­ed in mak­ing light-heart­ed fam­i­ly fare. Yet per­haps his dark­est, most dis­turb­ing movie is Her­bert White, a short he did while a film stu­dent at NYU. (Oh yeah, he went there too.) You can watch it above. Warn­ing: while not graph­ic, it prob­a­bly is NSFW.

Based on a poem by Frank Bidart, Her­bert White is a glimpse into the life of a ded­i­cat­ed fam­i­ly man and secret necrophile. The film stars Oscar-nom­i­nat­ed actor Michael Shan­non, and Fran­co lets him do what he does best – look pen­sive, haunt­ed and like he’s on the brink of com­mit­ting an unspeak­able act. If you’ve seen his pow­er­house per­for­mance in Jeff Nichol’s Take Shel­ter, you know what I mean. The movie is shot in an under­stat­ed, ellip­ti­cal sort of way that slow­ly gets under your skin. This is par­tic­u­lar­ly the case in the film’s cli­mat­ic scene, shot in one sin­gle take, where Shan­non cir­cles his intend­ed vic­tim while he argues with him­self over whether or not to suc­cumb to his dark urges. It is deeply unnerv­ing.

In an inter­view with Vice — he finds the time to be a reg­u­lar cor­re­spon­dent for that uber-cool pub­li­ca­tion too, by the way – he talks about that scene.

I thought Herbert’s strug­gle with him­self would be best cap­tured if we didn’t cut away from him. The rac­ing around the block along with Michael’s screech­es and curs­es (ad-libbed) adds to the depic­tion of the inner strug­gle. We shot it three times, rac­ing around the block. I was in the back with my DP. We were both pinch­ing each oth­er because the scene was so intense.

Fran­co was so moved by the expe­ri­ence of direct­ing the movie that he pub­lished a book of poems about the expe­ri­ence (of course) called Direct­ing Her­bert White. You can watch him read some of those poems below.

You can find Her­bert White added to our col­lec­tion, 4,000+ Free Movies Online: Great Clas­sics, Indies, Noir, West­erns, Doc­u­men­taries & More.

via NoFilm­School

Relat­ed Con­tent:

James Fran­co Reads a Dream­i­ly Ani­mat­ed Ver­sion of Allen Ginsberg’s Epic Poem ‘Howl’

James Fran­co Reads Short Sto­ry in Bed for The Paris Review

Lis­ten to James Fran­co Read from Jack Kerouac’s Influ­en­tial Beat Nov­el, On the Road

Jonathan Crow is a Los Ange­les-based writer and film­mak­er whose work has appeared in Yahoo!, The Hol­ly­wood Reporter, and oth­er pub­li­ca­tions. You can fol­low him at @jonccrow.

 

Watch The Hire: 8 Short Films Shot for BMW by John Woo, Ang Lee & Other Popular Filmmakers (2002)

If there’s ever a Mad Men: The Next Gen­er­a­tion, count on a 40-ish Sal­ly Drap­er to psych a con­fer­ence room full of BMW execs out of the tried-and-true for­mu­la for lux­u­ry auto­mo­bile ads in favor of a ground­break­ing, night­mar­ish, pre-YouTube web series.

As fic­tion­al sce­nar­ios go, it’s about as like­ly as hav­ing the Hard­est Work­ing Man in Show Busi­ness James Brown place a win­ner-take-all bet with the dev­il (Gary Old­man) that his dri­ver Clive Owen can out-drag peren­ni­al movie bad guy Dan­ny Tre­jo. (In oth­er words, very like­ly.)

The prize?

Anoth­er 50 years of hip-shak­ing, leg-split­ting soul for the God­fa­ther of.

Can’t wait for the soon-to-be released James Brown biopic to find out who wins?

Check out “Beat the Dev­il,” above, the final install­ment of BMW Films’ 8‑episode series, The Hire. One of the new mil­len­ni­um’s ear­li­est exam­ples of brand­ed con­tent, each fre­net­ic seg­ment found Owen’s name­less dri­ver going up against a ros­ter of big name guest stars, includ­ing Don Chea­dle, Mick­ey Rourke, Mar­i­lyn Man­son, and an uncred­it­ed, pee-soaked Madon­na. (You heard me.)

Brown’s episode, direct­ed by the late Tony Scott, quick­ly ven­tures into David Lynch ter­ri­to­ry. Old­man’s Prince of Dark­ness gets laughs with a prop flu­o­res­cent tube and striped sus­pender tights, but the scene’s not with­out men­ace. (Recall Dean Stock­well lip-synch­ing Can­dy Col­ored Clown in Blue Vel­vet…)

The dia­logue calls to mind Jim Jar­musch’s blunt snap.

Dev­il: Stick your face in the hole!

James Brown: My face?

Dev­il: Stick it in the hole!

James Brown: My face?

Dev­il: Face in the hole!

James Brown: My face?

Dev­il: Face in the- oh, shit!”

Else­where, Brown’s line deliv­ery gets a boost from same-lan­guage sub­ti­tles, with­out which one could eas­i­ly mis­hear his con­cerns about aging as an unex­pect­ed, late-in-life racial iden­ti­fi­ca­tion switch. (Say it loud, I’m Asian and proud?)

If the clip above leaves you hun­gry for more, the com­plete BMW series, fea­tur­ing the testos­terone-rich work of such high octane direc­tors as John Franken­heimer, Guy Ritchie, and John Woo is avail­able on the playlist below. 

You can find The Hire added to our col­lec­tion, 4,000+ Free Movies Online: Great Clas­sics, Indies, Noir, West­erns, Doc­u­men­taries & More.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Rid­ley Scott Talks About Mak­ing Apple’s Land­mark “1984″ Com­mer­cial, Aired 30 Years Ago on Super Bowl Sun­day

David Lynch’s Per­fume Ads Based on the Works of Hem­ing­way, F. Scott Fitzger­ald & D.H. Lawrence

The Coen Broth­ers Make a TV Com­mer­cial — Ridi­cul­ing “Clean Coal”

Ayun Hal­l­i­day is an author, home­school­er and the Chief Pri­ma­tol­o­gist of The East Vil­lage Inky zine. Fol­low her @AyunHalliday

“Weird Al” Yankovic Releases “Word Crimes,” a Grammar Nerd Parody of “Blurred Lines”

When “Weird Al” Yankovic is in the zone, he can spin a par­o­dy that is bet­ter than the orig­i­nal. He took R. Kelly’s pre­pos­ter­ous pop soap opera “Trapped in the Clos­et” and turned it into “Trapped in the Dri­ve Thru,” one of the best por­traits of every­day sub­ur­ban ennui I’ve ever come across. His hilar­i­ous tune “White and Nerdy” got twice as much traf­fic on YouTube than the song he spoofed, “Ridin’” by Chamil­lionar­ie. And off of his lat­est (and pos­si­bly last) album, Manda­to­ry Fun, Yankovic takes Robin Thicke’s bizarre but catchy ode to date rapeBlurred Lines” and flips it into “Word Crimes,” a dit­ty that is bound to delight gram­mar pedants every­where. Watch it above.

Jonathan Crow is a Los Ange­les-based writer and film­mak­er whose work has appeared in Yahoo!, The Hol­ly­wood Reporter, and oth­er pub­li­ca­tions. You can fol­low him at @jonccrow.

Watch the 7 Hour Trailer for the 720 Hour Film, Ambiancé, the Longest Movie in History


There’s an old tru­ism in Hol­ly­wood that a movie shouldn’t last much longer than the endurance of the aver­age audi­ence member’s blad­der. Most fea­ture films run around an hour and a half to two hours, though sum­mer block­busters can last longer. Stu­dios gen­er­al­ly resist mak­ing long movies for the sim­ple rea­son that they can’t pack as many screen­ings per day. While some art house auteurs have made movies that extend to blad­der-bust­ing lengths – Bela Tarr’s bril­liant Satan­ta­n­go clocks in at sev­en and a half hours – the place to find tru­ly long movies is in the art world.

Chris­t­ian Marclay’s mas­ter­piece The Clock is a 24-hour mon­tage of watch­es, clocks and oth­er time­pieces from icon­ic movies synced to the actu­al time the film is run­ning. Anoth­er incred­i­bly long movie is the apt­ly named A Cure for Insom­nia, which fea­tures artist Lee Groban read­ing a real­ly long poem inter­cut with clips of porn and heavy met­al music. That movie lasts over 3 days. And if you want­ed to watch the entire­ty of Chi­nese artist Ai Wei­wei’s movie Bei­jing 2003 – which doc­u­ments every sin­gle street with­in Beijing’s inner ring – it would take you over a week.

But those films have noth­ing on Swedish artist and film­mak­er Anders Weberg, who is mak­ing Ambiancé, which is, at 720 hours, the longest movie in the his­to­ry of cin­e­ma. 720 hours. That’s 30 days. To put this into per­spec­tive, you can watch the entire spe­cial extend­ed cut of the Lord of the Rings tril­o­gy over 60 times in the time it takes for Ambiancé to unspool just once. The first trail­er came out July 4th, and it clocks in at 72 min­utes long, mak­ing it almost a fea­ture unto itself. You can see it above. If this seems lengthy – most trail­ers are three or so min­utes after all – note that Weberg promis­es that the next trail­er will last sev­en hours and 20 min­utes.

Weberg describes Ambiancé as a movie where space and time inter­twine “into a sur­re­al dream-like jour­ney beyond places and [it] is an abstract non­lin­ear nar­ra­tive sum­ma­ry of the artist’s time spent with the mov­ing image. 
A sort of mem­oir movie.” As you can see above, the movie fea­tures dense­ly lay­ered images with a haunt­ing, min­i­mal score. Weberg plans to screen the entire­ty of the movie in 2020 on every con­ti­nent simul­ta­ne­ous­ly just once before destroy­ing it. The trail­er is only going to be avail­able until July 20th, so watch it while you can.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

The Clock, the 24-Hour Mon­tage of Clips from Film & TV His­to­ry, Intro­duced by Alain de Bot­ton

Jonathan Crow is a Los Ange­les-based writer and film­mak­er whose work has appeared in Yahoo!, The Hol­ly­wood Reporter, and oth­er pub­li­ca­tions. You can fol­low him at @jonccrow.

Ayn Rand Trashes C.S. Lewis in Her Marginalia: He’s an “Abysmal Bastard”

rand-lewis2

Images via Wiki­me­dia Com­mons

The polit­i­cal inter­sec­tion of Ayn Ran­di­an lib­er­tar­i­ans and Evan­gel­i­cal con­ser­v­a­tives is a baf­fling phe­nom­e­non for most of us out­side the Amer­i­can right. It’s hard to rec­on­cile the athe­ist arch-cap­i­tal­ist and despis­er of social wel­fare with, for exam­ple, the Ser­mon on the Mount. But hey, mixed mar­riages often work out, right? Well, as for Rand her­self, one would hard­ly find her sym­pa­thet­ic to reli­gion or its expos­i­tors at any point in her career. Take her sound lash­ing of writer, schol­ar, and lay the­olo­gian C.S. Lewis, intel­lec­tu­al hero of Protes­tant Chris­tian­i­ty. (Wheaton Col­lege hous­es his per­son­al library, and there exists not only a C.S. Lewis Insti­tute, but also a C.S. Lewis Foun­da­tion.) Lewis’ The Abo­li­tion of Man (1943), while osten­si­bly a text on edu­ca­tion, also pur­ports, like Aquinas’ Sum­ma The­o­log­i­ca, to expound the prin­ci­ples of nat­ur­al law and objec­tive moral val­ue. Rand would have none of it.

LewisRand

Reli­gion jour­nal First Things brings us excerpts from the edit­ed col­lec­tion, Ayn Rand’s Mar­gin­a­lia: Her crit­i­cal com­ments on the writ­ings of over 20 authors. In it, Rand gloss­es Lewis’s Abo­li­tion of Man with sav­age feroc­i­ty, call­ing the author an “abysmal bas­tard,” “cheap, dri­v­el­ling non-enti­ty” [sic], and “abysmal scum!” The screen­shot above (Lewis left, Rand’s anno­ta­tions right) from the First Things’ blog post offers a typ­i­cal rep­re­sen­ta­tion of Rand’s tone through­out, and includes some par­tic­u­lar­ly elab­o­rate insults.

LewisRandII

The C.S. Lewis Foun­da­tion com­ments that Lewis “prob­a­bly would not have approved of the lev­el of ven­om, but he prob­a­bly would not have liked Rand’s phi­los­o­phy much either.” Anoth­er Chris­t­ian aca­d­e­m­ic has suc­cess­ful­ly squared an appre­ci­a­tion for both Rand and Lewis, but writes crit­i­cal­ly of Rand, who “seems to have inter­pret­ed Lewis’s book as a Lud­dite screed against sci­ence and tech­nol­o­gy,” part of her “ten­den­cy to car­i­ca­ture her oppo­nents.” Cer­tain­ly no one ever accused her of sub­tle­ty. “It’s pret­ty clear,” our pro­fes­sor con­tin­ues, “that when show­ing stu­dents how to engage in schol­ar­ly dis­course, Ayn Rand should not be the mod­el.” No, indeed, but how she would thrive on the Inter­net.

Read more at First Things, and down­load a PDF of the Rand-anno­tat­ed Lewis excerpts here.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Free Audio: Down­load the Com­plete Chron­i­cles of Nar­nia by C.S. Lewis

The Only Known Record­ings of C.S. Lewis (1944–1948)

Watch Hand-Drawn Ani­ma­tions of 7 Sto­ries & Essays by C.S. Lewis

Flan­nery O’Connor: Friends Don’t Let Friends Read Ayn Rand (1960)

Josh Jones is a writer and musi­cian based in Durham, NC. Fol­low him at @jdmagness

5 Free Short Stories by Nadine Gordimer

By now, you know that Nadine Gordimer has died. She was 90 years old. Back in 1991, when she won the Nobel Prize, The New York Times made this announce­ment:

Nadine Gordimer, whose nov­els of South Africa por­tray the con­flicts and con­tra­dic­tions of a racist soci­ety, was named win­ner of the 1991 Nobel Prize in Lit­er­a­ture today as her coun­try final­ly begins to dis­man­tle the sys­tem her works have poignant­ly explored for more than 40 years.

In a brief cita­tion, the Swedish Acad­e­my, which con­fers the awards, referred to her as “Nadine Gordimer, who through her mag­nif­i­cent epic writ­ing has — in the words of Alfred Nobel — been of very great ben­e­fit to human­i­ty.”

The acad­e­my also added that “her con­tin­u­al involve­ment on behalf of lit­er­a­ture and free speech in a police state where cen­sor­ship and per­se­cu­tion of books and peo­ple exist have made her ‘the doyenne of South African let­ters.’ ”

Yes­ter­day, The New York­er com­ment­ed that, although she wrote 15 nov­els, it was “through her short fic­tion Gordimer made her pres­ence felt the most.” Gordimer pub­lished her very first short sto­ry, “Come Again Tomor­row,” in a Johan­nes­burg mag­a­zine in 1938, when she was just 15 years old. Thir­teen years lat­er, there came anoth­er first — the first of many sto­ries she pub­lished in The New York­er (“A Watch­er of the Dead”). Although many of Gordimer’s New York­er sto­ries remain locked up, avail­able only to the mag­a­zine’s sub­scribers, we’ve man­aged to dig up sev­er­al open ones. Above, you can watch Gordimer read her 1999 sto­ry called “Loot” while vis­it­ing Har­vard Uni­ver­si­ty in 2005. The text has since been re-pub­lished on the Nobel Prize web site. Below, you can also lis­ten to author Tes­sa Hadley read “City Lovers,” first pub­lished in The New York­er in 1975. The sto­ry “focuss­es on a love affair between a white man and a ‘col­ored’ woman in Apartheid South Africa. It’s deeply polit­i­cal in its details—the man is a geol­o­gist at a min­ing com­pa­ny, the couple’s affair is ille­gal, and they cov­er it up by pre­tend­ing that she is his ser­vant. ”

Oth­er Gordimer sto­ries avail­able online include “The First Sense” and “A Ben­e­fi­cia­ry”, pub­lished respec­tive­ly in The New York­er in 2006 and 2007. “The Sec­ond Sense” came out in The Vir­ginia Quar­ter­ly, also in 2007. If you, dear Open Cul­ture read­ers, hap­pen to know of any oth­er Gordimer sto­ries pub­lished online, please let us know in the com­ments sec­tions below, and we’ll add them to the roundup.

Relat­ed Con­tent

1,000 Free Audio Books: Down­load Great Books for Free

Read 18 Short Sto­ries From Nobel Prize-Win­ning Writer Alice Munro Free Online

10 Free Sto­ries by George Saun­ders, Author of Tenth of Decem­ber

Neil Gaiman’s Free Short Sto­ries

30 Free Essays & Sto­ries by David Fos­ter Wal­lace on the Web

800 Free eBooks for iPad, Kin­dle & Oth­er Devices

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