Like many AmerÂiÂcan chilÂdren of the 70s and 80s, my underÂstandÂing of how our govÂernÂment is supÂposed to funcÂtion was shaped by SchoolÂhouse Rock.
ImmiÂgraÂtion, sepÂaÂraÂtion of legÂislaÂtive, execÂuÂtive and judiÂcial powÂers and of course, the promise of the ConÂstiÂtuÂtion (“a list of prinÂciÂples for keepin’ peoÂple free”) were just a few of the topÂics the aniÂmatÂed musiÂcal series covÂered with clarÂiÂty and wit.
The new world order in which we’ve recentÂly found ourÂselves sugÂgests that 2017 would be a grand year to start rolling out more such videos.
The Lady Parts JusÂtice League, a self-declared “cabal of comics and writÂers exposÂing creeps hellÂbent on destroyÂing access to birth conÂtrol and aborÂtion” leads the charge with the above homage to SchoolÂhouse RockÂ’s 1976 hit, “I’m Just a Bill,” recastÂing the original’s glum aspiÂrant law as a feisty Plan B conÂtraÂcepÂtive pill. The red haired boy who kept the bill comÂpaÂny on the steps of the CapÂiÂtal is now a teenage girl, conÂfused as to how any legal, over-the-counter method for reducÂing the risk of unwantÂed pregÂnanÂcy could have so many eneÂmies.
As with the origÂiÂnal series, the prime objecÂtive is to eduÂcate, and comÂic Lea DeLarÂia’s Pill hapÂpiÂly obligÂes, explainÂing that while peoÂple may disÂagree as to when “life” begins, it’s a sciÂenÂtifÂic fact that pregÂnanÂcy begins when a ferÂtilÂized egg lodges itself in the uterus. (DeLarÂia plays Big Boo on Orange is the New Black, by the way.) That process takes a while—72 hours to be exact. PlenÂty of time for the parÂticÂiÂpants to scutÂtle off to the drugÂstore for emerÂgency conÂtraÂcepÂtion, aka Plan B, the so called “mornÂing-after” pill.
As per the drug’s webÂsite, if takÂen withÂin 72 hours after unproÂtectÂed sex, Plan B can reduce the risk of pregÂnanÂcy by up to 89%. TakÂen withÂin 24 hours, it is about 95% effecÂtive.
And yes, teenagers can legalÂly purÂchase it, though Teen Vogue has reportÂed on numerÂous stores who’ve made it difÂfiÂcult, if not imposÂsiÂble, for shopÂpers to gain access to the pill.
(The ReproÂducÂtive JusÂtice Project encourÂages conÂsumers to help them colÂlect data on whether Plan B is corÂrectÂly disÂplayed on the shelves as availÂable for sale to any woman of childÂbearÂing age.)
There’s a helpÂful footÂball analÂoÂgy for those who may be a bit slow in underÂstandÂing that Plan B is indeed a bonafide conÂtraÂcepÂtive, and not the aborÂtiÂfaÂcient some misÂtakÂenÂly make it out to be. It’s NSFW, but only just, as a team of carÂtoon penis-outÂlines push down the field toward the uterÂine wall in the end zone.
The othÂer bills who once stood in line awaitÂing the president’s sigÂnaÂture have been reimagÂined as sperm, while songÂwriter HolÂly MiranÂda pays tribÂute to Dave FrishÂberg’s lyrics with a pizÂzazz worÂthy of the origÂiÂnal:
I’m just a pill
A helpÂful birth conÂtrol pill
No matÂter what they say on CapÂiÂtal Hill
So now you know my truth
I’m all about preÂvenÂtion
If your conÂdom breaks
I’m here for interÂvenÂtion
Join me take a stand today
I realÂly hope and pray that you will
Drop some facts
Tell the world
I’m a pill.
Let’s hope the resisÂtance yields more catchy, eduÂcaÂtionÂal aniÂmaÂtions!
And here, for comÂparÂison’s sake, is the magÂnifÂiÂcent origÂiÂnal:
Via BUST MagÂaÂzine
RelatÂed ConÂtent:
SchoolÂhouse Rock: RevisÂit a ColÂlecÂtion of NosÂtalÂgia-InducÂing EduÂcaÂtionÂal Videos
Ayun HalÂlÂiÂday is an author, illusÂtraÂtor, theÂater makÂer and Chief PriÂmaÂtolÂoÂgist of the East VilÂlage Inky zine. FolÂlow her @AyunHalliday.




