Shame, shame to have lived scenes from a women’s magÂaÂzine. —Kurt VonÂnegut
In his introÂducÂtion to WelÂcome to the MonÂkey House, a colÂlecÂtion of his short ficÂtion pubÂlished in 1968, Kurt VonÂnegut shows no comÂpuncÂtion about throwÂing its most mainÂstream entry under the bus:
In honÂor of the marÂriage that worked I include in this colÂlecÂtion a sickÂenÂingÂly slick love stoÂry from The Ladies Home JourÂnal, God help us, entiÂtled by them “Long Walk to ForÂevÂer.” The title I gave it, I think, was “Hell to Get Along With.”
The simÂple tale, pubÂlished, as notÂed, by Ladies Home JourÂnal in 1960, bears a lot of simÂiÂlarÂiÂties to events of Vonnegut’s own life. After WWII, havÂing surÂvived the bombÂing of DresÂden as a POW, he made his way back to IndiÂanapoÂlis, and invitÂed Jane Cox, the friend he’d known since kinderÂgarten, who was engaged to anothÂer man, to take a walk, durÂing which he sugÂgestÂed she should marÂry him instead.
DirecÂtor JesÂsiÂca HesÂter’s recent, Kurt VonÂnegut Trust-sancÂtioned adapÂtaÂtion, above, plays it pretÂty straight, as do sevÂerÂal othÂer unauÂthoÂrized verÂsions lurkÂing on the InterÂnet.
She ups Newt’s rank to corÂpoÂral from priÂvate, and replaces the glossy bridal magÂaÂzine CatherÂine is thumbÂing through when Newt knocks with a coterie of attenÂtive bridesÂmaids and litÂtle girls, apparÂentÂly getÂting a jump on their nupÂtial fussÂing.
The magÂaÂzine’s omisÂsion is unforÂtuÂnate.
In the stoÂry, Newt asks to see “the pretÂty book,” forcÂing CatherÂine to bring up the impendÂing wedÂding. Its physÂiÂcal realÂiÂty then offers Newt a handy emoÂtionÂal refuge, from whence he can crack wise about rosy brides while preÂtendÂing to read an ad for flatÂware.
WithÂout that prop, he’s preterÂnatÂuÂralÂly aware of the names of silÂver patÂterns.
And as an IndiÂanapoÂlis native who went to school in the orchard where the stoÂry is set, and who can conÂfirm that it’s in earshot of the bells from the IndiÂana School for the Blind, I found it jarÂring to see the action transÂposed to New York’s WestchÂester CounÂty. (For those keepÂing score, it was shot on locaÂtion in CroÂton State Park and the RockÂeÂfeller State Park).
(BreakÂing Away’s rock quarÂry aside, the Hoosier State just doesn’t have those sorts of high-up water views.)
HesÂter honÂors Vonnegut’s diaÂlogue—nearÂly everyÂthing that comes out of the charÂacÂters’ mouths origÂiÂnatÂed on the page, while proÂvidÂing a young female director’s spin on this mateÂrÂiÂal, half a cenÂtuÂry removed from its pubÂliÂcaÂtion.
As she describes it on the stoÂryÂtelling platÂform FemÂiÂnist WednesÂday, the film genÂtly satÂiÂrizes the instiÂtuÂtion of matÂriÂmoÂny and the imporÂtance placed upon it. It is also, she says:
…a stoÂry about courage, as the female has to face herÂself, her ideas, and her valÂues… Catherine’s jourÂney is so raw, terÂriÂfyÂing in the most honÂest way, and heartÂfelt yet extremeÂly funÂny because it is so relatÂable.
SomeÂthing tells me the author wouldÂn’t have put it that way … his MonÂkey House intro, maybe.
But his admiÂraÂtion for his less-than-traÂdiÂtionÂal muse, avid readÂer and writer Jane Cox, from whom he split after 26 years of marÂriage, was immense.
GinÂger Strand’s proÂfile in The New YorkÂer quotes the houseÂhold conÂstiÂtuÂtion Cox draftÂed after their 1945 marÂriage:
We canÂnot and will not live in and be hogtied by a sociÂety which not only has not faith in the things we have faith in, but which reviles and damns that faith with pracÂtiÂcalÂly every breath it draws.
Hester’s crowd-fundÂed film, which the Kurt VonÂnegut MuseÂum and Library includÂed as part of a COVID-19 criÂsis VirÂtuÂal VonÂnegut Fun Pack—(“Have a box of Kleenex at the ready!”)—was shot in 2014.
Had proÂducÂtion been delayed by a few years, one wonÂders if the filmÂmakÂers would have come under intense presÂsure to frame Newt’s refusal to take Catherine’s rejecÂtions at face valÂue, his insisÂtence that she conÂtinÂue the walk, and that unvetÂted kiss as someÂthing perÂniÂcious and intenÂtionÂal.
If so, we’re glad the film made it into the can when it did.
And we conÂfess, we don’t realÂly share Vonnegut’s avowed disÂtaste for the stoÂry, though New York Times critÂic Mitchel LevÂiÂtas did, in an othÂerÂwise favorÂable review of WelÂcome to the MonÂkey House:
This VonÂnegut is obviÂousÂly a lovÂable felÂlow. MoreÂover, he’s right about the stoÂry, which is indeed a sickÂenÂing and slick litÂtle nothÂing about a solÂdier who goes A.W.O.L. in order—How to say it?—to sweep his girl from the steps of the altar into his strong and lovÂing arms.
Here’s to future adapÂtaÂtions of this Ladies Home JourÂnal-approved stoÂry by one of our favorite authors. May they capÂture someÂthing of his tartÂness, and forÂgo a senÂtiÂmenÂtal soundÂtrack in favor of a chickÂadee whose cameo appearÂance after the School for the Blind’s bells preÂfigÂures Slaughterhouse-Five’s famous “Poo-tee-weet?”
“*chick-a-dee-dee-dee*,” went a chickÂadee.
This adapÂtaÂtion of VonÂnegut’s “Long Walk to ForÂevÂer” will be added to our colÂlecÂtion, 4,000+ Free Movies Online: Great ClasÂsics, Indies, Noir, WestÂerns, DocÂuÂmenÂtaries & More.
RelatÂed ConÂtent:
A New Kurt VonÂnegut MuseÂum Opens in IndiÂanapoÂlis … Right in Time for Banned Books Week
Ayun HalÂlÂiÂday is an author, illusÂtraÂtor, theÂater makÂer and Chief PriÂmaÂtolÂoÂgist of the East VilÂlage Inky zine. Her monthÂly book-based variÂety show, NecroÂmancers of the PubÂlic Domain is on COVID-19 hiaÂtus. FolÂlow her @AyunHalliday.

