Rookie’s nevÂer less than worÂthy “Ask a Grown Man” series proÂvides a forum for mature males like actor Jon Hamm and radio perÂsonÂalÂiÂty Ira Glass to offer thoughtÂful, straightÂforÂward advice and explaÂnaÂtions, born of perÂsonÂal expeÂriÂence, to teenage girls (and othÂer interÂestÂed parÂties).
The most recent ediÂtion adds depth, and could just as accuÂrateÂly be titled “Ask a LevÂel-HeadÂed 50-Year-Old Father of Three, Who’s Been HapÂpiÂly MarÂried to His Children’s MothÂer for Years.”
LurkÂing just beneath Stephen Colbert’s hawkÂish ColÂbert Report perÂsona is a fair-mindÂed, seriÂous felÂlow, who’s unemÂbarÂrassed to weigh in in favor of parental authorÂiÂty when a 19-year-old fan comÂplains of her dad’s oppoÂsiÂtion to sleepÂovers at her boyfriend’s place while she’s still livÂing at home. PerÂhaps she should’ve asked a grown man whom expeÂriÂence hadn’t equipped to see things from the othÂer side of the fence, as ColÂbert foreÂsees that his answer won’t “go over great with everyÂone.”
SureÂly, though, his late mothÂer would approve.
PerÂhaps this segÂment should be called “Ask a Grown Man Whose UnequivÂoÂcatÂing Moral ComÂpass Is InconÂveÂnientÂly Close to Your Dad’s, But Whose PosiÂtion Allows Him to Offer Insights WithÂout LosÂing His TemÂper or Going Off MesÂsage.”
Colbert’s children’s extremeÂly low proÂfile in the media’s line up of celebriÂty offÂspring reflects well on those charged with their upbringÂing. Were his 18-year-old daughÂter to take issue with the old man’s musÂings on TwitÂter or Snapchat, she’d have the luxÂuÂry of doing so in the way of the averÂage RookÂie readÂer, rather than some obsesÂsiveÂly observed nearÂly-grown baby bump.
As to how to tell whether a boy—or anyone—likes you, ColÂbert says “they want to hear your stoÂries.”
As one viewÂer notÂed, “ask a grown-up, get grown-up answers.” Word.
RelatÂed ConÂtent:
Radiohead’s Thom Yorke Gives Teenage Girls EndearÂing Advice About Boys (And Much More)
StuÂdent Asks Noam ChomÂsky for DatÂing Advice
NietÂzsche DisÂpensÂes DatÂing Advice in a Short ScrewÂball Film, My Friend Friedrich
Ayun HalÂlÂiÂday is an author, zine pubÂlishÂer, and mothÂer of a teenage RookÂie readÂer. FolÂlow her @AyunHalliday