ChristoÂpher Hitchens was there, railÂing against reliÂgion and war crimÂiÂnals one minute, and the next, it seems, he was gone, a vicÂtim to esophageal canÂcer in 2011. In the 2010 video above, Hitchens takes on one of the hoariÂest preÂcepts of the Bible (and the Torah) and reimagÂines an updatÂed, secÂuÂlar verÂsion. I mean, it’s not like the Ten ComÂmandÂments are set in stone, right? (Rimshot!)
The first two-thirds of the video feaÂtures Hitchens makÂing his way through the origÂiÂnal comÂmandÂments one by one, pulling them apart for inconÂsisÂtenÂcies and hypocrisy. For examÂple Moses, havÂing told his folÂlowÂers Thou Shalt Not Kill, encourÂaged them to then kill all the MidÂiÂanÂites and save the virÂgin girls as chattel/prizes, which they then did.
Now, Hitchens does like the 8th ComÂmandÂment (“Thou Shalt Not Steal”) because, hey, what sociÂety isn’t against stealÂing, and he saves his true admiÂraÂtion for the examÂple of “rare nuance and sophisÂtiÂcaÂtion” in the 9th ComÂmandÂment (“Thou Shalt Not Bear False WitÂness”) because it looks ahead to a truth-based judgeÂment sysÂtem (and the Magna CarÂta.)
But for the rest, Hitchens sugÂgests ripÂping it up and startÂing again. With a few snarky asides, the list, origÂiÂnalÂly printÂed in VanÂiÂty Fair, presents rules for livÂing as an empaÂthetÂic, ratioÂnal human being in the 21st cenÂtuÂry. He wraps it up with an anti-funÂdaÂmenÂtalÂist bow at the end.
I: Do not conÂdemn peoÂple on the basis of their ethÂnicÂiÂty or colÂor.
II: Do not ever use peoÂple as priÂvate propÂerÂty.
III: Despise those who use vioÂlence or the threat of it in sexÂuÂal relaÂtions.
IV: Hide your face and weep if you dare to harm a child.
V: Do not conÂdemn peoÂple for their inborn nature.
VI: Be aware that you too are an aniÂmal and depenÂdent on the web of nature, and think and act accordÂingÂly.
VII: Do not imagÂine that you can escape judgÂment if you rob peoÂple with a false prospecÂtus rather than with a knife.
VIII: Turn off that fuckÂing cell phone.
IX: Denounce all jihadists and cruÂsaders for what they are: psyÂchoÂpathÂic crimÂiÂnals with ugly deluÂsions.
X: Be willÂing to renounce any god or any reliÂgion if any holy comÂmandÂments should conÂtraÂdict any of the above.
While we’re talkÂing about rethinkÂing the ComÂmandÂments, George CarÂlin had some simÂiÂlar thoughts on the subÂject.
RelatÂed ConÂtent:
ChristoÂpher Hitchens: No Deathbed ConÂverÂsion for Me, Thanks, But it was Good of You to Ask
ChristoÂpher Hitchens CreÂates a ReadÂing List for Eight-Year-Old Girl
Bertrand Russell’s Ten ComÂmandÂments for LivÂing in a Healthy DemocÂraÂcy
Ted Mills is a freeÂlance writer on the arts who curÂrentÂly hosts the FunkZone PodÂcast. You can also folÂlow him on TwitÂter at @tedmills and/or watch his films here.
