How Kraftwerk’s 22-Minute Song “Autobahn” Became an Early Masterpiece in Electronic Music (1975)

It takes about five hours to dri­ve from Düs­sel­dorf to Ham­burg on the Auto­bahn. Dur­ing that stretch, you can lis­ten to Kraftwerk’s album Auto­bahn sev­en times — or if you pre­fer, you can loop its epony­mous open­ing song thir­teen times. For it was “Auto­bahn,” more so than Auto­bahn, that changed the sound of music around the world in ways we still hear today. “Ger­many was sud­den­ly on the musi­cal map,” writes the Guardian’s Tim Jonze. “David Bowie – who used to ride the auto­bahn while lis­ten­ing to the record – moved to Berlin and went on to make the elec­tron­i­cal­ly influ­enced Low, “Heroes” and Lodger. Bri­an Eno relo­cat­ed to the rur­al vil­lage of Forst to record with the influ­en­tial avant-garde band Har­mo­nia.” Soon would come the elec­tron­ic pop of Ultra­vox, DAF and the Eury­th­mics, fol­lowed by Don­na Sum­mer and Gior­gio Moroder’s flood­gate-open­ing “I Feel Love”.

Not a bad pop-cul­tur­al coup for, as Jonze puts it, “a 22-minute 43-sec­ond song about the Ger­man road net­work.” At the time of its release in ear­ly 1975, Kraftwerk had put out three full albums, but what would become their sig­na­ture Teu­ton­ic-elec­tron­ic sound had­n’t quite tak­en shape. But it was already clear that their work took its inspi­ra­tion from twen­ti­eth-cen­tu­ry moder­ni­ty, a sub­ject of which no sin­gle work of man in their home­land could have been more evoca­tive than the Auto­bahn.

With its ori­gins in the Weimar Repub­lic and its long stretch­es with­out a speed lim­it, the Ger­man free­way net­work is inter­na­tion­al­ly regard­ed as a con­crete sym­bol of total per­son­al free­dom, and total per­son­al respon­si­bil­i­ty, with­in a high­ly rule-respect­ing cul­ture. To the young mem­bers of Kraftwerk, who often drove the Düs­sel­dorf-Ham­burg sec­tion, it held out the promise of free­dom.

So did the then-new Min­i­moog syn­the­siz­er, which cost as much as a Volk­swa­gen at the time, but offered the chance to make music like noth­ing the pub­lic had ever heard before. “Auto­bahn” cap­tured the imag­i­na­tions of lis­ten­ers every­where with not just its elec­tron­ic effects, but also the incon­gruity of their com­bi­na­tion with instru­ments like the flute (a holdover from Kraftwerk’s ear­li­er com­po­si­tions) and vehic­u­lar sounds evoca­tive of a gen­uine road trip — all assem­bled at what would then have seemed a hyp­not­i­cal­ly expan­sive length for a pop song. Lit­tle did even the hippest lis­ten­ers of the mid-sev­en­ties, such as the Amer­i­cans tuned into ear­ly free-form FM sta­tions where no cor­po­rate pro­gram­ming rules applied, know that they were hear­ing what Jones calls “the point where elec­tron­ic pop music tru­ly began.” All car trips run out of road even­tu­al­ly, but human­i­ty’s jour­ney into the pos­si­bil­i­ties of high-tech music shows no signs of approach­ing its end.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

The Psy­che­del­ic Ani­mat­ed Video for Kraftwerk’s “Auto­bahn” (1979)

Kraftwerk Plays a Live 40-Minute Ver­sion of their Sig­na­ture Song “Auto­bahn:” A Sound­track for a Long Road Trip (1974)

How Kraftwerk Made the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Kraftwerk’s First Con­cert: The Begin­ning of the End­less­ly Influ­en­tial Band (1970)

How the Moog Syn­the­siz­er Changed the Sound of Music

Hear the Evo­lu­tion of Elec­tron­ic Music: A Son­ic Jour­ney from 1929 to 2019

Based in Seoul, Col­in Marshall writes and broad­casts on cities, lan­guage, and cul­ture. He’s the author of the newslet­ter Books on Cities as well as the books 한국 요약 금지 (No Sum­ma­riz­ing Korea) and Kore­an Newtro. Fol­low him on the social net­work for­mer­ly known as Twit­ter at @colinmarshall.

When Soviet Youth Bootlegged Western Rock Music on Discarded X‑Rays: Hear Original Audio Samples

A catchy trib­ute to mid-cen­tu­ry Sovi­et hip­sters popped up a few years back in a song called “Stilya­gi” by lo-fi L.A. hip­sters Puro Instinct. The lyrics tell of a charis­mat­ic dude who impress­es “all the girls in the neigh­bor­hood” with his “mag­ni­tiz­dat” and gui­tar. Wait, his what? His mag­ni­tiz­dat, man! Like samiz­dat, or under­ground press, mag­ni­tiz­dat—from the words for “tape recorder” and “publishing”—kept Sovi­et youth in the know with sur­rep­ti­tious record­ings of pop music. Stilya­gi (a post-war sub­cul­ture that copied its style from Hol­ly­wood movies and Amer­i­can jazz and rock and roll) made and dis­trib­uted con­tra­band music in the Sovi­et Union. But, as an NPR piece informs us, “before the avail­abil­i­ty of the tape recorder and dur­ing the 1950s, when vinyl was scarce, inge­nious Rus­sians began record­ing banned boot­leg jazz, boo­gie woo­gie and rock ‘n’ roll on exposed X‑ray film sal­vaged from hos­pi­tal waste bins and archives.” See one such X‑ray “record” above, and see here the fas­ci­nat­ing process dra­ma­tized in the first scene of a 2008 Russ­ian musi­cal titled, of course, Stilya­gi (trans­lat­ed into Eng­lish as “Hipsters”—the word lit­er­al­ly means “obsessed with fash­ion”).

These records were called roent­g­e­niz­dat (X‑ray press) or, says Sergei Khrushchev (son of Niki­ta), “bone music.” Author Anya von Bremzen describes them as “for­bid­den West­ern music cap­tured on the inte­ri­ors of Sovi­et cit­i­zens”: “They would cut the X‑ray into a crude cir­cle with man­i­cure scis­sors and use a cig­a­rette to burn a hole. You’d have Elvis on the lungs, Duke Elling­ton on Aunt Masha’s brain scan….” The ghoul­ish makeshift discs sure look cool enough, but what did they sound like? Well, as you can hear below in the Bea­t­les sam­ples, a bit like old Vic­tro­la phono­graph records played through tiny tran­sis­tor radios on a squonky AM fre­quen­cy.

Dressed in fash­ions copied from jazz and rock­a­bil­ly albums, stilya­gi learned to dance at under­ground night­clubs to these tin­ny ghosts of West­ern pop songs, and fought off the Komsomol—super-square Lenin­ist youth brigades—who broke up roent­g­e­niz­dat rings and tried to sup­press the influ­ence of bour­geois West­ern pop cul­ture. Accord­ing to Arte­my Troit­sky, author of Back in the USSR: The True Sto­ry of Rock in Rus­sia, these records were also called “ribs”: “The qual­i­ty was awful, but the price was low—a rou­ble or rou­ble and a half. Often these records held sur­pris­es for the buy­er. Let’s say, a few sec­onds of Amer­i­can rock ’n’ roll, then a mock­ing voice in Russ­ian ask­ing: ‘So, thought you’d take a lis­ten to the lat­est sounds, eh?, fol­lowed by a few choice epi­thets addressed to fans of styl­ish rhythms, then silence.”

See more images of bone music records over at Laugh­ing Squid and Wired co-founder Kevin Kel­ly’s blog Street Use, and above dig some his­tor­i­cal footage of stilya­gi jit­ter­bug­ging through what appears to be a kind of Sovi­et train­ing film about West­ern influ­ence on Sovi­et youth cul­ture, pro­duced no doubt dur­ing the Khrushchev thaw when, as Russ­ian writer Vladimir Voinovich tells NPR, things got “a lit­tle more lib­er­al than before.”

bonemusic2

Note: An ear­li­er ver­sion of this post appeared on our site in 2014.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

How to Spot a Com­mu­nist by Using Lit­er­ary Crit­i­cism: A 1955 Man­u­al from the U.S. Mil­i­tary

Louis Arm­strong Plays His­toric Cold War Con­certs in East Berlin & Budapest (1965)

Read the CIA’s Sim­ple Sab­o­tage Field Man­u­al: A Time­less Guide to Sub­vert­ing Any Orga­ni­za­tion with “Pur­pose­ful Stu­pid­i­ty” (1944)

Bertolt Brecht Tes­ti­fies Before the House Un-Amer­i­can Activ­i­ties Com­mit­tee (1947)

How the CIA Secret­ly Fund­ed Abstract Expres­sion­ism Dur­ing the Cold War

Josh Jones is a writer and musi­cian based in Durham, NC. 

An Introduction to Brutalism: The Iconic Postwar Architectural Style That Combined Utopianism and Concrete

The arti­fi­cial lan­guage of Esperan­to was con­ceived with high ideals in mind. In the eigh­teen-eight­ies, its cre­ator L. L. Zamen­hof envi­sioned it as the uni­ver­sal sec­ond lan­guage of human­i­ty, and if it has­n’t achieved that sta­tus by now, it at least remains the world’s most wide­ly spo­ken con­struct­ed aux­il­iary lan­guage. One fac­tor com­pli­cat­ing its spread is that no lan­guage, even one guid­ed by inter­na­tion­al­ism, can remain the same for long enough in two dif­fer­ent cul­tures. As in spo­ken and writ­ten lan­guages, so in the con­crete one of archi­tec­ture — and in the case of the style known as Bru­tal­ism, that would be lit­er­al con­crete. Meant to make human­i­ty whole again after the Sec­ond World War, its build­ings end­ed up being rather more par­tic­u­lar, and less utopi­an, than their archi­tects intend­ed.

Exam­ples aplen­ty appear in the new video above from Built Nar­ra­tive, which offers what amounts to a post­card tour of Bru­tal­ist (and Bru­tal­ism-adja­cent) build­ings from around the world. Named for its main mate­r­i­al béton brut, or raw con­crete, the style came into its own dur­ing the rebuild­ing of war-ruined sec­tions of British and con­ti­nen­tal Euro­pean cities — and, over in the U.S., the rapid pro­lif­er­a­tion and expan­sion of col­lege cam­pus­es — which had to be done quick­ly and under less-than-extrav­a­gant bud­gets.

Libraries, research facil­i­ties, city halls, admin­is­tra­tive build­ings, cour­t­hous­es, hous­ing projects: these are the sorts of struc­tures that most often took Bru­tal­ist form in the nine­teen-fifties, six­ties, and sev­en­ties, result­ing in the insti­tu­tion­al, bureau­crat­ic, and in some places total­i­tar­i­an asso­ci­a­tions it still has today.

Some pub­licly loathed Bru­tal­ist build­ings, like the Tri­corn Cen­tre in Portsmouth and the Third Church of Christ, Sci­en­tist in Wash­ing­ton, D.C. have been torn down, often after decades of neg­li­gent main­te­nance. Oth­ers, like the Bar­bi­can Estate in Lon­don or Habi­tat 67 in Mon­tre­al, are now beloved sites of pil­grim­age. Wide­ly acknowl­edged mas­ters of Bru­tal­ism include Le Cor­busier, who pio­neered it with build­ings like the Unité d’Habi­ta­tion in Mar­seille (not Berlin, con­tra the cap­tion in the video) and Ken­zo Tange (pro­nounced “tawn-gay,” not “tang” as the nar­ra­tor says it), whose work steered the Japan­ese ver­sion of the move­ment in its own sub­tle, some­times play­ful direc­tions. Now, thanks in part to the rapid dif­fu­sion of archi­tec­tur­al pho­tog­ra­phy made pos­si­ble by social media, a new enthu­si­ast of Bru­tal­ism seems to be born every minute. Even if they don’t believe that archi­tec­ture can bring a new world into being, they still feel the pull of a future that nev­er came — or, at any rate, has­n’t come yet.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Every­thing You Ever Want­ed to Know About the Beau­ty of Bru­tal­ist Archi­tec­ture: An Intro­duc­tion in Six Videos

Why Peo­ple Hate Bru­tal­ist Build­ings on Amer­i­can Col­lege Cam­pus­es

Why Do Peo­ple Hate Mod­ern Archi­tec­ture?: A Video Essay

Good­bye to the Nak­a­gin Cap­sule Tow­er, Tokyo’s Strangest and Most Utopi­an Apart­ment Build­ing

The World Accord­ing to Le Cor­busier: An Ani­mat­ed Intro­duc­tion to the Most Mod­ern of All Archi­tects

An Espres­so Mak­er Made in Le Corbusier’s Bru­tal­ist Archi­tec­tur­al Style: Raw Con­crete on the Out­side, High-End Parts on the Inside

Based in Seoul, Col­in Marshall writes and broad­casts on cities, lan­guage, and cul­ture. He’s the author of the newslet­ter Books on Cities as well as the books 한국 요약 금지 (No Sum­ma­riz­ing Korea) and Kore­an Newtro. Fol­low him on the social net­work for­mer­ly known as Twit­ter at @colinmarshall.

How the Hoover Dam Works: A 3D Animated Introduction

When it comes to tourist pil­grim­age sites in the Unit­ed States, the Hoover Dam may not quite rank up there with the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty, the Lin­coln Memo­r­i­al, Mount Rush­more, the Grand Canyon, or Dis­ney­land. But that’s not due to a lack of impor­tance, nor even a lack of impres­sive­ness. Prop­er appre­ci­a­tion of its man-made majesty, how­ev­er, requires an under­stand­ing of not just the vital func­tion it serves, but the enor­mous task of its con­struc­tion. The guides at the Hoover Dam have been trained to explain just that to its many vis­i­tors, of course, but all of us could ben­e­fit from going in pre­pared with a lit­tle knowl­edge. Watch the hour-long video on the dam’s design and con­struc­tion from Ani­ma­graffs above, and you may be pre­pared with enough knowl­edge to tell the guides a thing or two.

Ani­ma­graffs is the YoT­tube chan­nel of Jacob O’Neal, which we’ve pre­vi­ous­ly fea­tured here on Open Cul­ture for its acclaimed expla­na­tions on a six­teenth-cen­tu­ry explor­er’s sail­ing ship and the Gold­en Gate Bridge, anoth­er icon­ic con­struc­tion project of the Great Depres­sion. Like those, his Hoover Dam video uses detailed 3D mod­els based on seri­ous research, not least into the pro­jec­t’s orig­i­nal design doc­u­ments.

This allows O’Neal to show each ele­ment of the dam and its com­plex sys­tem of sup­port­ing infra­struc­ture in detail and from every angle, as well as in a kind of x‑ray vision. We’ve all seen pho­tographs of the Hoover Dam, and maybe even bought some from its gift shop, but even the most sub­lime aer­i­al view does­n’t reveal as much about its ambi­tion as a look into its inner work­ings.

And the ambi­tion of the Hoover Dam is one aspect guar­an­teed to impress any view­ers. It required thou­sands of work­ers about five years to re-shape the Neva­da and Ari­zona land­scape at a grand enough scale to make pos­si­ble human con­trol of the mighty — and, more to the point, might­i­ly unpre­dictable — Col­orado Riv­er. With its large tur­bines, the engi­neer­ing and instal­la­tion of which O’Neal explains in full, it man­aged to gen­er­ate enough elec­tric­i­ty to repay its con­struc­tion cost of more than $811 mil­lion in today’s dol­lars by 1987, just over 50 years after it opened. And in an achieve­ment almost impos­si­ble to believe today, it opened more than two years ahead of sched­ule. We hear a good deal today about the con­cept of “state capac­i­ty,” and how the U.S. could regain it. At the Hoover Dam, we behold state capac­i­ty quite lit­er­al­ly made con­crete.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

The Incred­i­ble Sto­ry of the Hoover Dam

The Genius Urban Design of Ams­ter­dam: Canals, Dams & Lean­ing Hous­es

How Medieval Islam­ic Engi­neer­ing Brought Water to the Alham­bra

The Genius Engi­neer­ing of Roman Aque­ducts

The Bril­liant Engi­neer­ing That Made Venice: How a City Was Built on Water

Dis­cov­er Ansel Adams’ 226 Pho­tos of U.S. Nation­al Parks (and Anoth­er Side of the Leg­endary Pho­tog­ra­ph­er)

Based in Seoul, Col­in Marshall writes and broad­casts on cities, lan­guage, and cul­ture. He’s the author of the newslet­ter Books on Cities as well as the books 한국 요약 금지 (No Sum­ma­riz­ing Korea) and Kore­an Newtro. Fol­low him on the social net­work for­mer­ly known as Twit­ter at @colinmarshall.

The Fascinating Engineering of the Titanic: How the Great Ocean Liner Was Built

When many of us first learned of the RMS Titan­ic, it was pre­sent­ed first as one of his­to­ry’s great­est ironies: the “unsink­able” ocean lin­er that went down on its maid­en voy­age. Of course, there’s a great deal more to the sto­ry, as any­one who becomes obsessed with the ill-fat­ed ship (James Cameron being just one notable exam­ple) under­stands full well. Even apart from the many human expe­ri­ences sur­round­ing it, some of them told by the wreck­’s sur­vivors and pre­served on film, the mechan­i­cal aspects of the Titan­ic hold out con­sid­er­able fas­ci­na­tion for any­one with an engi­neer’s cast of mind. Put aside, for the moment, the mat­ter of the sink­ing, and con­sid­er just what went into mak­ing it one of the most glo­ri­ous cre­ations of man launched into the ocean to date — or rather, one of the three most glo­ri­ous.

The Titan­ic was one of a trio of sim­i­lar White Star Line ships com­plet­ed in the ear­ly nine­teen-tens. In the video above, Bill Ham­mack, known on YouTube as Engi­neer­guy, tells the sto­ry of not just the Titan­ic, but also the Olympic and the HMHS Bri­tan­nic. An engi­neer­ing pro­fes­sor at the Uni­ver­si­ty of Illi­nois, he found in the cam­pus library issues of the jour­nal The Engi­neer pub­lished between 1909 and 1911 that con­tain detailed pho­tographs of the con­struc­tion of both the Titan­ic and Olympic, sis­ter ships that were built side-by-side.

One ele­ment high­light­ed that we may not much con­sid­er today is the sheer scale of the things: each was held togeth­er by three mil­lion riv­ets, could con­tain 1.5 mil­lion gal­lons of bal­last water, weighed 52,000 tons when ful­ly fit­ted, required 23 tons of lubri­cant to slide from the dock into the water, and burned 650 tons of coal per day on a transat­lantic cross­ing.

Alas, size alone was­n’t enough to pre­vent dis­as­ter. “Less than a year after the launch of these two giant ships, one suf­fered a col­li­sion that ripped a gap­ing hole in its side,” says Ham­mack. “That ship was of course, the Olympic.” Its sud­den encounter with a pass­ing war­ship neces­si­tat­ed patch­ing with wood before it could return home for a full repair, but there­after it remained in ser­vice for near­ly a quar­ter-cen­tu­ry. Its less lucky sib­ling end­ed up at the bot­tom of the ocean after run­ning into trou­ble of its own: a mine and a tor­pe­do spelled the end for the Bri­tan­nic in 1916. As for the Titan­ic, we all know about its fate­ful encounter with the ice­berg, and maybe we’ve even heard dis­cus­sions of how its design­ers could have mit­i­gat­ed the impact: more or taller bulk­heads, a dou­ble hull rather than just a dou­ble bot­tom, greater lifeboat capac­i­ty. As for whether and how those solu­tions would have worked, per­haps Ham­mack could still shoot a fol­low-up explain­ing it all to us.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

The First Full 3D Scan of the Titan­ic, Made of More Than 700,000 Images Cap­tur­ing the Wreck’s Every Detail

See the First 8K Footage of the Titan­ic, the High­est-Qual­i­ty Video of the Ship­wreck Yet

The Titan­ic: Rare Footage of the Ship Before Dis­as­ter Strikes (1911–1912)

Titan­ic Sur­vivor Inter­views: What It Was Like to Flee the Sink­ing Lux­u­ry Lin­er

The Sink­ing of the Bri­tan­nic: An Ani­mat­ed Intro­duc­tion to the Titan­ic’s For­got­ten Sis­ter Ship

How a 16th-Cen­tu­ry Explorer’s Sail­ing Ship Worked: An Ani­mat­ed Video Takes You on a Com­pre­hen­sive Tour

Based in Seoul, Col­in Marshall writes and broad­casts on cities, lan­guage, and cul­ture. He’s the author of the newslet­ter Books on Cities as well as the books 한국 요약 금지 (No Sum­ma­riz­ing Korea) and Kore­an Newtro. Fol­low him on the social net­work for­mer­ly known as Twit­ter at @colinmarshall.

How the Long-Lost Body of Richard III Was Found Under a Parking Lot: Solving a 500-Year-Old Mystery

Shake­speare’s The Tragedy of Richard the Third begins with the epony­mous char­ac­ter utter­ing the famous line “Now is the win­ter of our dis­con­tent.” It ends at the Bat­tle of Bosworth Field, by which point his vil­lain­ous schemes have come to ruin and his deser­tion by Lord Stan­ley seems to have sealed his fate. “A horse, a horse, my king­dom for a horse,” he cries out, coin­ing anoth­er expres­sion used four cen­turies lat­er before being slain by the Earl of Rich­mond, the man who would be Hen­ry VII. Though Shake­speare him­self was writ­ing more than 100 years after the his­tor­i­cal events he dra­ma­tized, he includ­ed lit­tle after the event of Richard’s death, whose most fas­ci­nat­ing mys­tery was in any case only solved in our own time.

You can see the sto­ry of Richard III’s long-unknown where­abouts in the Pri­mal Space video above. Accord­ing to records, says the nar­ra­tor, “he was buried uncer­e­mo­ni­ous­ly beneath the Greyfri­ars Church in Leices­ter, and a mon­u­ment was even­tu­al­ly placed above his grave.” When Hen­ry VIII ordered such hous­es of wor­ship shut down forty years lat­er, Greyfri­ars was among the insti­tu­tions demol­ished.

Every­one even­tu­al­ly came to believe that, amid this destruc­tion, Richard’s body had been exhumed and tossed off the Bow Bridge. Only in the ear­ly two-thou­sands did a search for his corpse com­mence in earnest, spear­head­ed by the Richard III Soci­ety. Hav­ing deter­mined that the Bow Bridge sto­ry had been made up, the soci­ety’s mem­bers then had to pin down the long-con­fused for­mer loca­tion of Greyfri­ars Church.

One of them, Philip­pa Lan­g­ley, got the hunch to start look­ing under a Leices­ter park­ing lot. Bud­getary lim­i­ta­tions forced her team to try dig­ging just three trench­es across spaces like­li­est to cross the church’s foot­print. “Amaz­ing­ly, just six hours into the first day, they came across a skele­ton” with skull dam­age and spinal cur­va­ture. Richard was indeed described as a “hunch­back” in his life­time, but in the twen­ty-first cen­tu­ry, only DNA evi­dence clos­es the case. Its acqui­si­tion neces­si­tat­ed both find­ing a cou­ple unbro­ken female lines (the only means of trans­mit­ting mito­chon­dr­i­al DNA) from his sis­ter down to liv­ing, testable indi­vid­u­als while car­bon-dat­ing the skele­ton. Sure enough, Richard turned out to have been in eter­nal repose not just under that park­ing lot, but near a sten­ciled let­ter R — the kind of coin­ci­dence from which even the Bard him­self might have shied away.

Relat­ed con­tent:

Con­firmed: The Bones of Richard III (1452–1485) Found Under a UK Park­ing Lot

74 Ways Char­ac­ters Die in Shakespeare’s Plays Shown in a Handy Info­graph­ic: From Snakebites to Lack of Sleep

How Eng­land First Became Eng­land: An Ani­mat­ed His­to­ry

Hear What Ham­let, Richard III & King Lear Sound­ed Like in Shakespeare’s Orig­i­nal Pro­nun­ci­a­tion

A New Analy­sis of Beethoven’s DNA Reveals That Lead Poi­son­ing Could Have Caused His Deaf­ness

Based in Seoul, Col­in Marshall writes and broad­casts on cities, lan­guage, and cul­ture. He’s the author of the newslet­ter Books on Cities as well as the books 한국 요약 금지 (No Sum­ma­riz­ing Korea) and Kore­an Newtro. Fol­low him on the social net­work for­mer­ly known as Twit­ter at @colinmarshall.

Who Would Be Emperor If the Roman Empire Still Existed Today?

Dur­ing Wim­ble­don a few years ago, a thread about King Felipe VI of Spain went viral. It was post­ed to the social media plat­form for­mer­ly known as Twit­ter by Derek Guy, author of the menswear blog Die, Work­wear! “Very rare to see this lev­el of tai­lor­ing nowa­days, even on the wealthy,” he com­ment­ed on a pho­to of Felipe in the stands on the tour­na­men­t’s last day. Even when not attend­ing major sport­ing events, the king’s col­lars always hug his neck, his lapels are always well-pro­por­tioned, the lines of his coat always flow into his trousers, and his four-in-hand always has just the right asym­me­try. For my mon­ey, such self-pre­sen­ta­tion befits not just a monarch, but indeed an emper­or.

It so hap­pens that Felipe is one of the most plau­si­ble can­di­dates for that job, at least in the hypo­thet­i­cal sce­nario that the Roman Empire nev­er declined and fell. He’s also the only actu­al sit­ting monarch among them, though each of the oth­ers can also make his own cred­i­ble claim to the impe­r­i­al throne.

So who would right­ful­ly rule over a still-extant Roman Empire? Under­stand­ing that his­to­ry buffs enjoy noth­ing more than a spec­u­la­tive but knowl­edge- and judg­ment-inten­sive debate of that kind, Use­fulCharts cre­ator Matt Bak­er (whose online store hap­pens to offer a Roman emper­ors fam­i­ly tree poster) once invit­ed thir­teen his­to­ry YouTu­bers to cast their votes — and, of course, explain their answers.

In addi­tion to Felipe, the ros­ter of poten­tial mod­ern-day Roman emper­ors includes Dün­dar Ali Osman, heir to the Ottoman dynasty, and Andrew Romanov, heir to the Russ­ian throne (a choice for those who accept the one­time descrip­tion of Moscow as the “third Rome”). Alas, both have died since the mak­ing of this video, but the claimants who could draw their legit­i­ma­cy from the lega­cy of the Holy Roman Empire live on: the still rel­a­tive­ly young Jean-Christophe Napoléon, a descen­dant of Bona­parte’s broth­er, and Karl von Hab­s­burg, the undis­put­ed cur­rent head of the epony­mous house. In favor of each can­di­date, one can make a vari­ety of argu­ments polit­i­cal, cul­tur­al, and geo­graph­i­cal. Nor, as some of us would insist, can we rea­son­ably ignore the sar­to­r­i­al.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

Every Roman Emper­or: A Video Time­line Mov­ing from Augus­tus to the Byzan­tine Empire’s Last Ruler, Con­stan­tine XI

What Did the Roman Emper­ors Look Like?: See Pho­to­re­al­is­tic Por­traits Cre­at­ed with Machine Learn­ing

Ancient Roman Coins Reveal the Exis­tence of a For­got­ten Roman Emper­or

Five Hard­core Deaths Suf­fered By Roman Emper­ors

All of the Rulers of Europe Over the Past 2,400 Years Pre­sent­ed in a Time­lapse Map (400 B.C. to 2017 A.D.)

The His­to­ry of Europe from 400 BC to the Present, Ani­mat­ed in 12 Min­utes

Based in Seoul, Col­in Marshall writes and broad­casts on cities, lan­guage, and cul­ture. He’s the author of the newslet­ter Books on Cities as well as the books 한국 요약 금지 (No Sum­ma­riz­ing Korea) and Kore­an Newtro. Fol­low him on the social net­work for­mer­ly known as Twit­ter at @colinmarshall.

AI Figures Out the Rules of a Mysterious 2,000-Year-Old Board Game from Ancient Rome

Image by Wal­ter Crist

As far as enthu­si­asm for board games goes, no con­ti­nent has yet out­done Europe. Its advan­tage could lie in the high­ly devel­oped cul­ture of low-cost leisure evi­dent in quite a few of its soci­eties; it could also owe to the fact that board games seem to have been played there con­tin­u­ous­ly since antiq­ui­ty. We’ve long had evi­dence of exam­ples like the “Roman mill game,” bet­ter known today as nine men’s mor­ris, which Ovid appears to men­tion in his Ars Ama­to­ria of the very ear­ly first cen­tu­ry. Not that mod­ern knowl­edge of Roman table­top gam­ing is com­plete. In one puz­zling case, the stone board above was unearthed in a for­mer Roman town in the Nether­lands, but how a game was played on it remained a mys­tery — until machine learn­ing came along.

“To exam­ine whether the object may have been used as a game board, we per­formed use-wear analy­sis to iden­ti­fy evi­dence for game­play and we sim­u­lat­ed play using arti­fi­cial intel­li­gence (AI),” write the team of researchers who recent­ly pub­lished a paper on the sub­ject in the jour­nal Antiq­ui­ty. They used a sys­tem called Ludii, engi­neered to ana­lyze board-game rules.

“This soft­ware allows for AI-dri­ven play­out sim­u­la­tion, where two AI agents play a game against one anoth­er, which can gen­er­ate quan­ti­ta­tive data on game­play. In this instance, we explored whether the rules of a game would pro­duce the wear pat­tern seen on the stone.” The idea, in oth­er words, was to let the com­put­er play against itself using dif­fer­ent rules until it came upon a game that would con­tin­ue to abrade away the sur­face of the board in the same fash­ion as it already was.

This process nar­rowed it down to games “in which the goal is to block the oppo­nent from mov­ing, and those in which the goal is to place three pieces in a row.” These have a fair­ly long doc­u­ment­ed his­to­ry, from Scan­di­navi­a’s hare­tavl, to Italy’s gio­co dell’orso to Spain’s liebre persegui­da, to Greece’s kiné­gi tou lagoú. You can down­load what the research sug­gests is the most plau­si­ble rule set for this par­tic­u­lar Roman board game here, board design includ­ed. One play­er takes the side of the “hunter,” with four pieces, and the oth­er the side of the “prey,” with two. The for­mer tries to trap the lat­ter’s pieces, mov­ing only along the board­’s lines; in the next round, the roles reverse. The hunter who does the job in the fewest moves wins. Why not invite friends over to spend an evening play­ing like a Roman? For a thor­ough­ly ancient good time, first recon­struct as best you can the ambi­ence of the ther­mopoli­um at home.

Relat­ed con­tent:

Watch a Playthrough of the Old­est Board Game in the World, the Sumer­ian Roy­al Game of Ur, Cir­ca 2500 BC

Behold the First Amer­i­can Board Game, Trav­ellers’ Tour Through the Unit­ed States (1822)

Monop­oly: How the Orig­i­nal Game Was Made to Con­demn Monop­o­lies & the Abus­es of Cap­i­tal­ism

Kurt Vonnegut’s Lost Board Game Is Final­ly for Sale

The Fiendish­ly Com­pli­cat­ed Board Game That Takes 1,500 Hours to Play: Dis­cov­er The Cam­paign for North Africa

The Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Board Game, Inspired by Hunter S. Thompson’s Rol­lick­ing Nov­el

Based in Seoul, Col­in Marshall writes and broad­casts on cities, lan­guage, and cul­ture. He’s the author of the newslet­ter Books on Cities as well as the books 한국 요약 금지 (No Sum­ma­riz­ing Korea) and Kore­an Newtro. Fol­low him on the social net­work for­mer­ly known as Twit­ter at @colinmarshall.

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